When Servant Leadership Isn’t Enough

I practice and promote Servant Leadership.

I’ve spoken about it at conferences, mentored other managers on how to apply it, and am co-authoring a book on its various applications and uses.

I lead with confidence and conviction, but manage others with a sense of responsibility and selflessness.

Every work day, I make a concerted effort to invest in a professionals’ well being and success. The drive to help, mentor and assist is always there, and I’ve been working on it for nearly my entire professional career.

But there are times where it can all go south, in a hurry.

Previously, I had been given the opportunity to step up and direct an entire department while managing over a dozen full time employees. The prevailing assumption (and one that I adopted), was that I’d be operating as both a Manager and as a Director moving forward.

This worked conceptually… for a little while at least.

I found myself caught between two sets of expectations while trying to play both roles. Those who I managed and served as a Manager, and senior leadership who wanted and expected ‘results’ from a Director.

While I cut back on the former to make room for the latter, I found that neither were ultimately satisfied.

Both demanded dedicated time and attention, and I couldn’t ‘serve’ both effectively. I was cutting out employee conversations and dialogue to put out project fires. I stopped doing extra-curricular events and activities that nurtured an important social foundation for the department.

Worse, the decisions I made in an attempt to resolve issues on major projects were seen in a different light. For example, I had queried an entire team on some process changes they wanted to have for a challenging project. When I presented my draft for consideration, it wasn’t seen as a draft. It was the ‘way forward’, though that wasn’t the intent at all.

The notion of the workplace being ‘safe’ was being challenged. Disagreements normally discussed in the open were not being brought forward. Instead, they were voiced to my boss, my peers, each other, and always with the ‘don’t tell anyone I told you this’ disclaimer in play.

A combative dynamic started to materialize in the department. Employees who felt disrespected by either myself or others were less open. Decisions made to help projects or resolve issues were interpreted as political maneuverings to sideline particular employees. Resource appointments to existing projects were greeted with an ‘us vs. them’ mentality.

An ‘In’ crowd started to form. Employees who felt emboldened by senior management’s attention to their issues were openly defiant. A reoccurring lack of transparency by leadership started degrading morale. The entire department started to degrade.

The worse moments came when the wrong message was being sent to my directs about their importance. I remember an entire team calling me on a late afternoon to vent their disbelief, confusion and feelings of disrespect about being disregarded for a future project they had domain over. In another situation, a post-presentation meeting involving over a half dozen employees was a free-for-all for interpretive commentary.

All of the above occurred in less than three months.

It was surreal.

It was a complete reversal from the norm, when temperaments were much more neutral and dialog in the department was shared, open and empathic.

To be fair, it was a mistake on my part to assume that one person could take on both a Director and a Manager role. I had the best of intentions, but you can really only do so much. I wasn’t doing anyone any good.

In the end, a new Director was named, and I went back to my role as a Manager. It was a great opportunity for the new Director who focused all her time and energy to being successful.

For me, I went back to having an open calendar, devoting time to employee development, goals and the impact they were bringing to the company.

Probably most important… I had my nights/weekends back with my family!

Management is a lot like being arrested and being read your miranda rights. Anything you say can and will be used against you.

And when servant leadership falls short, it’s absolutely true.

I really wish I could be the best manager/director that everyone wants me to be, but it’s not always possible. I have to be the bad guy sometimes.

I have to point out where I think things have fallen short, and performance expectations are not met. I have to make decisions that are going to piss people off, make them feel unappreciated, and question my motivations in relation to their professional well being.

I also have to fire people. That’s a really hard thing to do, especially when they have families to support.

But if I make those decisions while trying to help others, it’s not done with malicious intent. I really have a genuine interest in serving other professionals in whatever capacity I can while protecting their time and attention to get through the work day.

Above all else, I need to care about what I can control, versus what I cannot. I am not the sum of my mistakes. I can’t linger on those or dwell on them.

Instead, I have to believe that I’m the present of my actions.
More importantly, I’m the foretelling of my future.

I hope a continued commitment to Servant Leadership will get me there.