Voldemort had a few good zingers in the first debate, but I think the big winner of the night was Bane. Of course, for all they tried, the moderators weren’t able to stop Darth-mentum. I’m glad that warmonger Sauron did badly. Ultimately, I think the best we can hope for is a Cobra Commander presidency, so he’s got my vote. He may not be a libertarian, but he’s the closest thing to it up there. And to all you purists, can you name a single candidate on that stage who’d be better?