Reflections of Care: Wisdom Gained on the Caregiver’s Journey
Navigating A Year Of Caregiving ( In response to Dancing Elephants Press, Wisdom Column)
It was a Thursday morning, and the crisp chill in the air prompted me to bundle up with a hot cup of tea in my favorite chair. With no rush to start my daily routine, I allowed my mind to wander, reflecting on the events this year.
2023, A Year of Challenges: Mom’s Diagnosis
The year 2023 began on a sad note as my mom was diagnosed with dementia and a disc collapse. Unable to undergo surgery due to her age and frailty, she has been bedridden since January 2023. Witnessing her health decline has been a journey of ups and downs.
Cherished Memories
Last year, around December 2022, she was active and had just completed knitting a scarf for me. Sadly, her memory is lost, and she can’t even recall the scarf she knitted for me. I show her family photographs and the knitted treasures to evoke memories, often prompting recollections of the distant past.
Balancing Act: Caregiving and Self-Care
While being a caregiver to my mom, I was initially neglecting my own health. The realization of neglecting my health led me to have a conversation with my mom’s psychiatrist.
He recommended that I focus on self-care, which is extremely important when you are a caregiver for a loved one. My friends recommended that I hire an external caregiver who could support me in managing daily activities for my mom and help me keep her comfortable.
Emphasizing the importance of self-care, I enlisted external support and managed stress. The other best thing I could do was to keep my mind busy and flush out all the negative thoughts.
Keeping my mind busy with consulting assignments and connecting with industry professionals became a therapeutic outlet.
Creative pursuits to keep my sanity in check
I enrolled for a Diploma in Creative Writing in 2022 with The Writers Bureau in Manchester and completed the course in October 2023, honing skills in diverse writing genres.
To lift my mom’s spirits, I cultivated a balcony garden — a haven of greenery during our shared lunchtimes. My mom loves gardening; whenever she sees me tending to the plants and nurturing them, it makes her smile.
She cannot sit for long, but during lunch, I make it a point to bring her in the wheelchair to the balcony.
Reviving my piano-playing skills and dedicating time to fabric painting added creative dimensions to my life.
Lessons from Caregiving: Personal Growth and Insights
As my mind reflected on the year, caregiving imparted valuable lessons:
- Empathy and Patience:
I have developed a deeper sense of empathy and patience while dealing with the challenges of aging. And this is not just towards my mom, but for all those in my friend circle who have aging parents and have called out for support.
2. Improved Time Management:
The urgency of caregiving enhanced my time management skills, juggling various tasks efficiently.
3. Navigating Systems and Advocacy:
I have learned to navigate healthcare and social systems, advocate for older people, and extend assistance to fellow seniors in my apartment building.
4. Importance of Self-Care:
I learned the significance of self-care and stress management for maintaining personal well-being.
Conclusion: A Year of Growth and Gratitude
While the challenges of caregiving were immense, this year has been one of growth, self-discovery, and resilience. As I reflect on the journey, I celebrate the wisdom gained, the cherished memories, and the strength that emerged from the role of a caregiver.
December is the month to express gratitude for the experiences and lessons learned throughout the year. I am grateful to God for giving me the strength to be a caregiver to my mom and to keep her comfortable.
A cute little quote from Dr Seuss reflects on the passage of time and the rapidity with which it seems to elapse, sums up the month of December.
“ How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon.
December is here before it’s June. My goodness, how the time has flown. How did it get so late so soon?” -Dr Seuss.
The quote encourages reflection on the impermanence of time and the need to appreciate and savor each moment before it swiftly becomes a memory.
Thank you, DR Rawson - The Possibilist for the New Column of Wisdom. It has enabled me to reflect on caregiving activities and the wisdom gained from them and write about it.
Here are articles that I enjoyed reading,
Elvie Lins article on embracing 2024 and staying positive
DR Rawson - The Possibilist , article
Rick Allen article,
✍ — Published by DR Rawson — The Possibilist at Dancing Elephant Press. Click here for guidelines to post.
