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The Silent Battle of a Topper
Falling from the pedestal of perfection, I navigate the weight of expectations and my silent struggles
It’s midnight, and I am not asleep. All my books lie scattered on the table, yet I cannot open one.
Tomorrow is my midterm, and for the first time, I feel unprepared. I have always been a topper, and everyone looks up to me, but this time, I feel lost.
For days, I have been forcing myself to think, forcing myself to study; my mind cannot cooperate. The anxiety is slowly eating me inside out, no matter how I try to wriggle off this defeated feeling.
The night has been sleepless; I can only toss and turn with thoughts racing endlessly.
“What’s wrong with me?”
I keep asking.
I am always an inspiration to others and someone who is telling everyone around me, “You can do it.” But now, in the time of my greatest need, I am not there anymore to tell anybody those things.
I feel left alone. People seem not able to see the struggle behind my smiling face.
First, I am exhausted — not only in body but also in mind and soul. It’s like fighting a silent war, not knowing if I am winning. I keep saying it’s okay to feel this way, but the…
