You Are Alive
Did You Notice?
A young 35-year-old man, fully aware of his condition — stage IV rectal cancer. Operated 2 years back, and completed the standard ideal therapy. Relapsed with stage IV disease and is currently willing to try every last ounce of therapy we can offer him. He is fully aware that his current chemotherapy would, at the most, be able to keep his disease under control, until the day it isn’t able to anymore.
A 31-year-old girl, with a breast lump, was diagnosed with the malignancy. She gets her genetic testing done, as her mother is a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with a BRCA-1 mutation. The same mutation is present in her mother. She has a sister, who fortunately didn’t inherit the mutation.
A young girl, 25 years old, with the dream of getting into a government job, and preparing for a national-level entrance exam, diagnosed with a large ovarian mass. Stage 3 ovarian cancer on surgery. We know it’s an average 25 percent life expectancy at 5 years. Her future changed overnight.
Now, pause for a second. Think of what irked you today. What problem(s) did you face that made you curse some moment of your existence?
These are just a few of the recent patients I have come across. Adult people, in the prime of their lives, face a diagnosis that changes the remaining course of their future.
The first question is what future, as they face the real possibility of death in their minds. The second question is the quality of that future, as they go through with their surgery and chemotherapy and radiotherapy and whatever else there is for us to offer. The third question is the daily struggle they face to get up from their bed — physically, as well as emotionally.
What did you think of when you got up from the bed today? Were you irritated that it was going to be a long day and you just hadn’t had your sleep? Or it’s a task to get your kids ready for school and you undoubtedly know you are going to get late today? Or perhaps the water wasn’t at the correct temperature? Or perhaps your colleague was late, and you had to cover up for some time with that extra workload?
Don’t go too deep into comparing yourself with the people above.
The purpose of this piece is neither to make you feel grateful for the life you have nor to make you feel guilty of taking for granted the daily routine you go through.
The purpose of this small piece of writing is to make you aware for a moment, of your surroundings — the people around you, the laughter of the characters in the TV, the bickering over the remote between your children, the voice of your parents talking on their phone on loud-speaker, the glow of your laptop screen with that pending presentation, the fragrance of a home-cooked meal in the kitchen, the ground underneath you where you are able to stand without feeling weak or nauseated, the time you are able to spend with your family and friends without them showing you any appreciation for the work you do (as they too take your presence and hard work for granted, because you CAN work and you ARE always there), as well as the endless things that probably annoy you — please do notice them.
It’s proof that you are alive and well.
To be able to WISH for a break from an emotionally, physically or mentally exhausting week, is a gift. To be able to feel agony over dinner since it’s not your favorite dish, is a blessing — there are people I know who would give anything to feel some appetite and be able to taste food again.
Life throws at us challenges that make living seem like a task. Guess what? It’s better than facing a diagnosis that would change what seems mundane and unexciting to you, into an uncertain future, over and above the toll that it would take on your whole being as long as you breathe.
It’s okay if you lose it sometimes and get frustrated; It’s okay to not be able to feel gratitude at times; It’s okay to not be in a Zen state and talk about the good in your life all the time.
Do make an effort to realize for a single moment each day, that you are alive and seemingly well.
Life isn’t easy for you perhaps, but it’s life. What else would you possibly want?
✍ — Edited and Published by Dr. Gabriella Korosi, at Dancing Elephants Press. Click here for submission guidelines.
