15 Questions for the “Prince of Pulp”

A short interview with Caspar Vega

Do you like giraffes?

No.

How many people have you had sex with?

One. I would never cheat on your mother.

When do you think the world will end?

Whenever Daenerys Targaryen makes another agonizing speech. If I wanted to be yelled at by a blonde queen, I’d go to an Elton John concert.

What’s the most criminal thing you’ve ever done?

Stealing ice cream. I felt guilty about it, so I bought one ice cream with the stolen one already in my pocket. It was the perfect cover. There was also an act of vandalism from many years ago that I’d rather not go into.

Define the word “croochie-proochles”.

If it’s what I think it is, I had it for a few weeks in the late 90s.

When do you think you will die?

Never, I hope.

What’s the most personal thing you’ve written and what inspired it?

Probably The Castling. Frustration and angst inspired it. It’s a good book, though.

Where would you like to live if money was not an object?

Louisiana is my spiritual home.

What do you think of Brexit?

Is that when an Englishman pulls out of a Polish hooker before ejaculating?

What is the meaning of life?

Yes.

Do you like transvestite transsexuals from Transylvania?

You know, I nearly got the Rocky Horror lips tattooed on my forearm when I was 18.

Who’s the most famous person you’ve met?

I’m 90% sure that I saw Harrison Ford in Los Angeles and I’m 100% sure that I saw Mia Wasikowska and Michael Gambon in London.

What’s the greatest country in the world?

America at its founding. Obviously.

What’s your favorite book/writer?

The Rum Diary is the only book I’ve ever read twice. Two Jim Thompson books are definitely up there, though, Pop 1280 and The Killer Inside Me.

Any words of encouragement for struggling writers?

Submit to Dangerous Stories.