Distracting Our Destinations

How we always find a way to lose ourselves

Focusing as a kid was a strange idea, like our parent’s networking group or income taxes. Our youth was a simple time. Kickball, lunch, football, repeat. Anything more was asking too much. Always a new path, always a new place, always something to smile about. Too much to do, too little time to think.

And like most kids growing up with a controller in their hands, it never occurred to me to think about feelings. My Xbox was enough to keep me hypnotized for hours. Every night was an endless chase for that one moment to make me feel complete; each night dragged on by the endless supply of “one-mores” or “end-on-a-win.”

But it didn’t matter; it was always the perfect escape. Being lost in video games showed me that ignoring feelings was as effective as running from them.

And the reality being, who at that age could even describe their feelings? Did I even know the difference between being busy or happy? Finding words can be a struggle to pinpoint feelings, but our bodies are intuitive. They can understand things without the need for words. Guided by our intuitions, we can find ways to lean into those signals.

And for all I know, humans are the only animal with a conscious awareness of these thoughts. We are able to recognize and even throw away those negative feelings if needed. If we have the ability to ignore and discard, why not use it? As an evolved species, we have surpassed all primitive thoughts and urges…. right?

Can we be both the pinnacle of evolution and desperately flawed?

YES.

Overthinking, anxiety, self-doubt are all human traits created through necessity, even when these archaic relics don’t feel helpful anymore. Because of this, we’ve all wished for a wardrobe or body change. A quick swap for this year’s model. New and improved, better software and efficiency. Less pizza urges, slimmer frame, more-striking finish coat. These feelings are natural. There’s always something to fix or tweak. But at what point do our thoughts become the anchors weighing us down? When does that hope turn to doubt?

But here’s the sad truth — it’s become so common to dismiss or ignore negative feelings. We have methodically built habits of “tuning-in” then “turning-off.” Our world has made it easy to hide from ourselves. Why face the person in the mirror when instead we can drown in the fire-hose of carefully curated content? It’s simple. One feels so much better than the other.

50 Cutest Dogs in California. Click.

Making an Igloo with a Butter Knife. Hell yea. Click.

15 Easy Meals using only Hot Dogs. That’s the shit I like. Click.

It doesn’t matter who we are or what we’ve done — we can always escape. Always.

So, what’s your numbing drug of choice? How’s your tolerance to it nowadays? Might be time for that new thing, right?

The cycle doesn’t stop. Our fixes continue to worsen the issues. So, take a moment, walk outside, watch the world. Let me know what you see.

Everyone’s…busy.

Eh. I would argue otherwise…

Everyone’s DISTRACTED.

Thinking about that fight at work? Nope. TikTok’s got me covered. Looking for love? Don’t worry, Tinder will put miles on that Mazda. Day after day we surrender to our phones at dinner, on dates, and for meetings. No one can take our light-up pacifier; it’s become our security blanket in this scary world.

Like getting your first job or moving to that new place, there comes a time to grow up. Sometimes you need to just put on pants and go to work. Put down that phone and have that talk. Turn off the TV and sit with yourself. Face the world versus run.

This is why we’re lost. This is why we’re “off.” We’ve lost the relationship with the person that matters most — ourselves. We’ve become trapped finding new distractions versus confronting our issues. That drive to find out who we are has run off the rails. Everyone has become distracted behind the wheel.

So, what the point? Why does it matter anyways?

Speaking as someone who thrives on short-form content, it’s empowering to walk away. Our paths are compounded by consumption and building the strength to break our chains is the only way out. We have become slaves to our things, while losing the freedom to open the cage and walk away.

And that’s where so many of us are now. We don’t know where to go, but we sure as hell know where to feel comfortable. That safe space is always with us. Feeling uncomfortable at the bar? Just reach for that phone and everything shitty fades. So quick, so simple, that Staples easy button is more real than ever.

But there is hope. There is always time to pull up the anchors and set course for new waters. We always have a choice. This career or a new one. This life or another. Each day, we methodically carve our futures with every choice we make.

And it all starts with us. What do we want? Where do we go? What do we do? In order to ask these questions, we need the time to think. No distractions, no excuses, just brutal honesty with ourselves.

Are you satisfied? Does your future bring excitement? Could you roll down the final curtain and give yourself applause?

If you get triggered asking the questions — great. You are on the right track.

Confronting ourselves is difficult, no ways around it. And remember, it ain’t easy doing the thinking. So, get used to it.

So, why not take a chance and tune-in. Rearrange the antenna outside and find our own signal.

Who knows, we might find something familiar.