Roller-coaster

I am hungry. Not hungry for food — even though I have been known to plow through a cheesecake like there is no tomorrow — no, I am hungry for more, for growth, for expansion in the fasted way possible. Settling makes me physically sick, pushing for more makes my heart sing. When I am busy with writing, and the words flow upon the page in rapid succession, I am at my happiest, knowing that every word makes me a better writer, even if my next book or even the one after that will not be bestsellers.

They are my teachers, and help me expand.

That said, being surrounded by people who are not following the same mindset, who need to be kicked into action almost every day, is not only draining, it is simply depressing. I do not think that people with a laid back personality are doing this on purpose, but I can not help to scream at them — silently, in my head, not actually out loud, otherwise someone will lock me up in one of those padded rooms — move already! They at least could have the decency to get out my way, instead of throwing me curve balls with their problems that could have been fixed on their own, or are simply created by their lack of motion forward, which is in part coming from an inability to think outside of the box.

I want to shake them into gear, or at least push them out of my way, but sometimes this constant struggle works against my own flow, and instead of being able to push forward I sit in my corner, shuffling cheesecake into my mouth, watching Hulu.

No worries, a few minutes, later I am back at it, taking the stairs up toward that same roller-coaster ride, that I know will excite me. I hold on, fastened the belts and straps, making sure that I am ready for the momentum, until something comes up, and someone hits the breaks. And the frustration begins again.

More of my ramblings, flash fiction, poetry and opinions can be found via Twitter @claudiahblanton