undertaking

I never wanted to write bitterly about you.

I promised this to myself long ago but in light of life and in dark of hopelessness,

what ground does my promise hold?

and yet I keep it, like I kept all the other vows I made to you.

we start learning the alphabet around the age of 2

but it’s been over two decades since and somehow ‘I’ still comes after you.

over two decades and somehow the same alphabet still fails me;

did I learn differently than everyone I knew?

how am I grasping at straws,

at words,

and coming up with nothing?

he sings ‘I’m losing my baby on promises kept’

and I’m thinking of how I missed out on the day they taught that

‘I’ always comes before you.

Originally published at phantasmagothica.wordpress.com on April 4, 2019.