Wheelys taking serfs for a ride

Keith Parkins
Light on a Dark Mountain
4 min readJan 22, 2017
Wheelys

Wheelys is yet another serfs working for an app scam, copying the Uber and Deliveroo model.

Except in this case the franchising scam is thrown in too.

Why would anyone who wished to serve coffee, quality coffee, wish to spend $1 million on a Starbucks franchise?

If you wished to serve coffee, you would either be a barista looking to open your own quality coffee shop, or you would wish to open a coffee shop and employ top quality baristas.

The only advantage of a franchise, save initial outlay on capital cost, maybe support and supply of equipment, for which have to pay a franchising fee.

At least if Costa or tax-dodging Starbucks, it may be undrinkable coffee, but the zombies with no comprehension of coffee will fall for marketing.

With Wheelys, hit with a double whammy.

Hit with £150 per month franchising fee. This is the franchising model.

Have to pay for the bike. Have to pay for the coffee equipment. This is serfs working for an app model. The serfs pay for all the capital costs, the serfs take all the risks.

And the app?

Why download an app to find a coffee shop? And that is assuming even heard of Wheelys, which is highly unlikely.

I tried and could not even find the app.

Custom would come from passersby, word of mouth, not the app.

How many come via the app?

An insignificant number, and of course the app takes a cut.

A barista, and I mean a barista, not someone who knows nothing about coffee, could easily do all this themselves. The gear could be built from junk.

Crowd source if need be to raise the funds. Offer discount on the coffee.

On the Wheely website, nothing about coffee. But then that figures. It is about promoting the scam and relieving people of their money. And yet little about the scam either. Why are they not upfront?

Would I seek out Wheelys to buy a coffee?

Of course not, nor would any coffee lover, anymore than I would seek out Costa or tax-dodging Starbucks.

Wandering around, finding indy coffee shops, is one of the joys of coffee.

Finding some quirky coffee shop, and the pleaure of a well crafted coffee.

Wheelys is the antithesis of this.

And who has even heard of Wheelys?

If a coffee shop is serving excellent coffee, word gets around.

Wheelys is not as claimed, Open Source. If Open Source, plans for the trike would be on-line to download and adapt.

The tiny solar panel is a joke. Maybe useful to charge a mobile phone.

The claim zero emissions questionable. Where does the power come from?

Aside what they get from the serfs and franchise holders they also are seeking investors in Wheelys, targeting those who have signed up for a trike.

Artificially inflate the value, boom and bust, sell out at the top. Silly money chasing silly projects.

If temped by this scam, think again.

If foolishly fallen for it, get out as soon as possible, rename your trike.

With Uber or Deliveroo, the app generates the business.

With Wheelys, it is the barista, who through his or her own efforts, selecting the pitch, brewing the coffee, generates the business. And yet, as with all serfs working for an app, has to provide or at least pay for the capital equipment.

And as with a franchise, has to pay a monthly fee.

Post-capitalism we could go two different ways.

We can have serfs working for apps, the app creams of the profit whereas the serf provides the capital and takes all the risk; atomised workers bidding against each other in negative auctions to drive down wages, often working for less than the minimum wage; demoralised, part time, temporary, zero hours, McShit, soul destroying jobs.

Or we can have open coops, collaborative commons, a sharing economy.

A Wheelys trike screams corporate. Support local indie coffee shops, be they a shop, a truck or a bicycle, take back coffee culture, do not support coffee chains, selling clone products.

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Keith Parkins
Light on a Dark Mountain

Writer, thinker, deep ecologist, social commentator, activist, enjoys music, literature and good food.