I used to freeze on stage when I had to speak, until I learnt these 3 secrets:
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We've all been there: the racing heart, the sweaty palms, the shaky voice.
Whether it’s giving a presentation at work, speaking up in a meeting, or addressing a large audience, the nerves can be paralyzing.
It's frustrating because you have something valuable to say, but the fear of speaking up holds you back.
This fear doesn't just rob you of your voice; it can also impact your career and personal growth.
Missing out on opportunities to share your ideas or take the lead can limit your professional advancement and personal fulfillment.
It’s a vicious cycle where the more you avoid speaking up, the more the fear grows.
As bad as this is, I have some good news:
Did you know that public speaking is one of the most common fears, ranking up with fear of heights and spiders?
Yes! It really is.
So if you struggle with this, understand that you are not alone.
No one ever really outgrows the nerves and tension that comes with going on stage.
The best speakers are just better at mastering their fright.
You must understand that this whole idea of mastering your nerves is not an event, but a journey.
It is a process that requires continuous effort and a reasonable amount of time.
So, as you transition from shy to bold, be kind to yourself. It won’t happen all at once. It isn’t magic!
Why do you fear speaking up?
Well, honestly there are a number of reasons why you can have a brilliant idea that could solve a major problem, but then, as you try to muster the courage to speak, you feel everyone’s eyes on you, your heart pounds, your voice trembles, you lose your confidence and your mind goes blank.
Now, Instead of articulating your idea, you stammer through your sentences, feeling embarrassed and defeated.
So many reasons why this can happen, but here are 5 major ones:
1. Fear of Judgment:
- You may worry about how others will perceive you. You fear being criticized, ridiculed, or judged negatively, and this in turn can hinder your willingness to express your thoughts and opinions.
2. Lack of Confidence:
- A lack of confidence in yourself or/and abilities can make you doubt the value of your contributions. This can lead to anxiety and reluctance to speak up.
3. Fear of Rejection:
- The possibility of being dismissed or having your ideas rejected can be intimidating. This fear can prevent you from sharing your opinions, especially in group settings where approval is needed.
4. Previous Negative Experiences:
- Past experiences of being ignored, criticized, or not taken seriously may discourage you from speaking up in the future. These experiences can create a lasting impact, making you hesitant to voice your opinions again.
5. Perceived Power Imbalance:
- In environments where there is a clear hierarchy or power imbalance, you may fear repercussions or negative consequences if you speak up. This is common in workplaces where employees might worry about damaging their reputation or career prospects.
If you fall under any of these categories, the first thing you must realize is you're not inconsequential! Your thoughts, opinions and ideas are valid and should be heard.
To conquer the fear of speaking up, you must get practical.
It's not about what you read or watch, but what you do with what you've learnt.
Remember, knowledge may be power, but the application of it is even more powerful.
Where can you start from?
Positive Visualization:
This is really the foundation to success with speaking.
Sometimes, we can get so scared of the upcoming event, we focus on the negative.
“What if things go wrong”
“What if they laugh?”
“What if I fall and break my neck?”
“What if I throw up?”
Listen, your mindset plays a crucial role in helping you achieve success while speaking.
If all you think about is a million ways things can go wrong, then you shouldn't be surprised when things eventually go wrong. You attracted it!
Training your mind to envision success can make a significant difference.
So, when next you have to speak, do this:
Spend a few minutes each day imagining yourself speaking successfully.
Be detailed with this!
Think of the clothes you'd wear, the shoes, think of the venue, see yourself moving around confidently, smiling at your listeners, explaining each point with precision.
Picture your listeners reacting positively to your words. See everyone congratulating you on delivering such a wonderful presentation. Focus on how you feel in that moment.
If you consistently do this, your mindset will be set right for what's coming.
Preparation is Key:
There's a famous quote - “if you fail to prepare, you're preparing to fail”.
The best way to combat nervousness is through thorough preparation.
Knowing whatever it is you're going to say or do inside and out can significantly boost your confidence.
The more you know, the less you'll have to worry about unexpected questions or forgetting important points.
Research thoroughly!
Practice like your life depends on it. I have a quote I live by - “if I can still remember how many times I've practiced, then I haven't practiced enough”.
Better to be “too ready” than unprepared.
Pause and breathe:
When you feel nervous, your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. Learning how to calm your mind and body can help you regain control.
A sustainable way to do this: Deep breaths!
Few seconds before I am to go on stage or say something, I always take slow, deep breaths.
It paces your heart rate, calms the nerves and reduces the tension.
It's a simple practice!
Just inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times and you'll instantly become calmer.
To wrap up:
Whether you have to make a presentation, give a speech or just have a simple conversation, these tips can help you make a better delivery.
Speaking up when you're nervous is a common challenge, not an impossible one.
It is more than possible to transform your fear into confidence.
Remember, the more you practice, the easier it will become to find your voice.
If this helps you and you are looking for more in-depth expert advice to help you master stage fright and build self confidence, this material will help.
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