In the Waves
Something about the rhythm of the waves. It’s always seemed intensely erotic to me. The unrelenting, unabashed pull, the incessant need it doesn’t try to hide.
Come to me, come inside me, she says without focus on anything but the desire she so plainly declares.
So maybe it is this, or the moon — who has arrived early today — that awakens in me something new. Something lovely. And dark.
The campfire is reduced to a bed of orange smolder and sand but it glows like I do — partly hidden, partly obvious on the surface that I burn.
The others are asleep in their tents. But I sit watching the black water wash onto shore into a vivid cerulean as the moon catches the whites and the blues with her stolen sunlight. And like her I want to reflect something. They’re all asleep and yet I feel like I’ll be awake forever. Like nothing in me will rest.
The night is warm, even for August, even when the fire no longer casts us in its heat. I take off my sweater and pants and wade into the undulating sea. The cove here is shallow and you can walk in it for yards before your hips are submerged.
I walk and hear the crash of the larger waves farther out, drowning out the small splashes my legs make. I turn back to shore and see a figure. It’s you. I guess not everyone is asleep after all.
You have demons like I do and I suppose this is the night to air them. The ocean judges no one and so I guess it calls people like you and I to come. I wave and you pull your clothing off too. When you think about it, it’s so lucky to have only bathing suits separating you from the cosmos, here, at the edge of a continent, twirling about in space and time.
As you wade in toward me, I see a look about you that is different from normal. You are hungry like the ocean and I wonder for what. You seem wounded somehow and I suddenly have the urge to kiss everything away. We share a look that says nothing and a thousand things and it is already decided. Like the story has been written centuries ago and we are just the players fulfilling parts.
You rest your hand on my shoulder and it moves down my arm, bathing suit strap held in it. The top falls around my waist. I am unashamed. There feels nothing to be ashamed for, for once. It is more art than nudity, more music than words. And just we two on the precipice of a universe that is telling us it is all right now.
Your skin holds a chill. I pull you close to hold you, to warm you. But before I can get my arms around you, your hands hold the back of my head and pull me in. We are locked in a kiss and it is nothing but also everything I’ve thought it might be like when I’ve imagined this. So many times have I imagined this. My hands find your lower back and I rest them there, holding you close against me. My belly has not felt another in so very long.
I can feel your pull grow stronger, darker as your gentle hands turn greedy. Fingers winding through my hair begin to pull, to claim. There can be no question now of your need, of mine. I lie in the water, the shallows of this roiling sea who understands me. The chill finds me now, too, but as you lie down over me, I forget it all and feel only you.
Your lips and your eyes. Your chest on mine. Your arms sturdy as they hold you over me. Your hip bones meeting mine. The suits that separate us. Hardly anything between us. Your body works without any thought but the ancestral pull encoded in every cell of you. You push yourself toward me and we scramble to remove the layers that hinder.
My hands find you and you exhale as I hold you, growing, in my palms. A soft moan escapes my lips as I see what I am doing to you. Your eyes blink open and close again as you relax into the motion of my hands. I am rhythmic like the sea, like a sonnet. I move my hands over you, over and again. Your breath grows deeper and your hands move down to my hips. Your fingers slide over me, searching, exploring. I can’t help myself. I push my hips up so your hand finds its way. My ribs tremble as your fingers slip inside. I need you and cannot wait.
I am full of breath and exhalations as you move your hands on me, in me. I wrap my legs around you and we pause. I watch your eyes as I guide you into me, the subtle, subconscious flickering open of your pupils as you slip into me, into the warmth your body craves. I come instantly around you but do not stop pushing into you in an ever-growing heat.
Your lips find mine again, and we are in the sea under the moon, and there is nothing but us at the edge of this world. Your rhythm slows slightly and you collapse into a moan and an explosion. I feel the warmth of you pour into me and I am gone into this. My body blazes with electricity and I feel as though I, myself, am the sea, the rocking current of her as she crashes onto shore.
You kiss me still, as we soften, as the waves subside into the night, as we wait for still more.
