The Age of Consent

It’s about legitimacy, acceptance, and boundaries

by Simon Holzapfel, Head of The Darrow School

“Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.”

Look no further than the Declaration of Independence for clear evidence of America’s abiding belief that the legitimacy of a system of governance hinges on the degree to which its subjects consent to its authority. Consent was explicitly coded into our national DNA, and seemed as self-evident then as it does now.

But what if we take that idea and apply it more broadly, from government to all types of social relationships? Couldn’t we conclude that any non-consensual exchange between two parties is illegitimate to some degree? Seems obvious, at first, until you consider that a total ban on non-consensual activity would also make a surprise birthday party impossible.

Obviously it requires more in-depth thought. That thought frequently leads one to consider all the little consents we give each day — to software licenses, to terms of use on websites, to posting photos on social media, to not reporting that car illegally parked in a handicapped zone, to signing for a neighbor’s package. It then becomes clear that there are many different kinds of consent, with many shades of characteristics and consequences. (Wikipedia identifies five different types of consent to help us sharpen up our thinking.)

Regardless of the complexities and legalities, we can all agree that consent matters and brings with it the critical quality of legitimacy. And when we do a deep dive on the concept, it’s difficult to avoid the #MeToo movement, and all the behaviors that have led to its genesis. Possibly more than any societal shift since the civil rights era, #MeToo is leading huge swaths of people to reconsider what is okay, what isn’t okay, and more importantly, how implicit we may have been in the bargain.

As free societies become ever more complex, more intricate, more interconnected, and more vocal, it’s critical to the people who we live, learn, and work with that we examine our own habits of giving and taking consent, as we also think about what constitutes legitimacy, consent, and boundaries.

Simon Says… is a regular blog by Simon Holzapfel, Head of The Darrow School. Learn more about active curriculum and project-based learning at darrowschool.org.

Read Simon Holzapfel’s bio.