The Unrealistic Expectations

As children, we dream of growing up and becoming characters we see in movies such as a princess, superhero, wizard, pirate or something along those lines; then, we grow up and realize those dreams are not very realistic. Many years later we still have dreams like that, but instead of being a princess or superhero it is fantasizing over having a relationship like the ones we see in romance movies. Romance movies such as The Notebook, Titanic, 10 Things I Hate About You, Pretty Woman and 50 First Dates set real relationships up for failure by giving women false hope or expectations leaving them disappointed, heartbroken, or both. I have interviewed ten people: six women and four men. The women answered the following questions: Pick a movie you’d like your love life to be like and explain why. Would you say that a man has gone above and beyond to fight for you or win you over? Would you be interested in being in a relationship with a very poor man? Has a man ever done some kind of grand gesture to profess his love to you (ex. Singing a song in front of a crowd for you)? The men were only asked one simple question; would you be interested in dating a prostitute, stripper, or porn star? Each of these questions relate to the movies and how they set up unrealistic expectations for women to make them believe that their love life may actually be like this.

In The Notebook, Noah fights for Allie both when they are young — constantly writing her notes for a whole year after her parents had literally driven them apart — and old — trying to read her a story about their life to get her to remember who he and their family are as she has dementia. This romance film was ranked #4 its opening weekend having a gross income of almost $13.5 million, and it stars two well liked actors, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. Even though, according to Rotten Tomatoes, the critics gave this film a rating of 52%, audiences seemed to really love it as they gave the film a rating of 85%. Yes, it’s a classic love story, but it’s time to face reality and know that the chances of a guy writing every single day for a whole year without the girl responding are very slim. Also, trying to fight for your love who has dementia is not as easy as you think it might sound. Noah sure does have the positive attitude for it, but that is not always what it will look like; there will be struggles, tears, and heartbreak. When asking the six women if they have ever had a man go above and beyond to fight for them, I was referring to this movie, and five out of the six women felt as if a man had not gone truly above and beyond to fight for them. Also, when I asked the women what movie they would like their love life to be like, four out of the six women said they wanted their love life to be like Noah and Allie’s because “through sickness and health they stuck together” or “they were playful but serious and did not care what others thought of them”. This classic love story is giving women hope that a man might do this for them.

Rose, in Titanic, has her life set in stone for her; her family plans on her marrying a very wealthy man to keep her family going as it is just her and her mom, and they are about to lose their fortune due to her father leaving the family. There’s only one problem with this situation; she is falling in love with the poor man Jack on the ship. Obviously, people are in disagreement with her saying that she is being selfish and not thinking of her family’s needs, but that doesn’t stop Rose. During this film’s opening weekend, it was ranked #1, and its gross income was $23.6 million; its domestic gross income was even more impressive standing at about $659.4 million. According to Rotten Tomatoes, the critics gave this film a rating of 88% while the audiences gave the film a rating of 69%. Despite this also classic love story of suggesting that a person’s social class really does not matter, four out of the six women I interviewed admitted that they would not be interested in dating a poor man. Realistically, a person, whether it be man or woman, would not be willing to sacrifice their money or fortune to lower their social class for a person they had just met.

In 10 Things I Hate About You, Patrick attempts to profess his love to Kat by not only getting her attention but her whole soccer team’s attention at practice when he sings “I Can’t Take My Eyes Off You”, dances, and even gets the school band involved in on it. This film with a gross income of $8.3 million during opening weekend was ranked at #2, and its total domestic income stands at $38.2 million. According to Rotten Tomatoes, the critics gave this film a rating of 62% while the audiences gave the film a rating of 69%. As much as us ladies would love for a guy to get our attention and profess his love to us in front of a crowd, the chances of that happening are slim to none. Five out of the six girls that I interviewed claimed that a man had never done some kind of grand gesture to win them — and if they wanted them to — over besides “buying them a promise ring” or some kind of kind gesture like that.

Edward, in Pretty Woman, is able to look past the fact that Vivian is a prostitute, and he falls in love with her. Pretty Woman was ranked #1 during its opening weekend, and the gross income for that weekend was $11.3 million; the film’s total gross income stands at $178.4 million. According to Rotten Tomatoes, the critics gave this film a rating of 61%, and the audiences gave the film a rating of 68%. To no surprise, when I asked the men in the interview if they would be interested in being in a relationship with a prostitute, stripper, or porn star, all four of them said no, and I think the reason for their answer is pretty obvious. As depressing as it is for the prostitute, not a lot of people are going to be interested in being in a relationship if he or she has that kind of past. Of course, not a lot of women would be interested in going into that area to make a living of, but this could happen for different kinds of situations too that somewhat relate to the movie’s; a person is not going to want to look past someone’s past that involved putting themselves out there such as Vivian did in Pretty Woman.

In 50 First Dates, Lucy is a woman who has lost her short-term memory due to a car accident, and Henry has fallen in love with her. There is only one major problem in this love story; even though she had fallen in love with Henry as well on their very first date, she can’t remember what happens when she wakes up every morning. She thinks that Henry is some insane man throughout the film, but in the end — to no surprise — they end up together. You may be asking how Henry can pull this off when Lucy cannot remember who he is when she wakes up. He creates this film that she must watch every morning to remind her who she is and what has happened to her since her accident. Somehow, she is okay with this and goes along with the fact that she is now married with children. 50 First Dates was ranked #1 their opening weekend, and their gross income for that weekend was at $39.9 million; their total domestic income stands at $120.9 million. According to Rotten Tomatoes, the critics did not seem to like this film rating it at 44%, but the audiences seemed to like it more rating it at 65%. The concept of waking up every morning not knowing where you are and watching a tape to find out that you have been in a car accident that prevents you from taking in new memories and that you are now married with children would be hard to grasp. I would not be okay with this kind of situation, and I’m sure many other women could say the same. Chances that someone would willingly go along with this right away would not be likely, and the relationship would not be as easy as the film portrayed it to be.

Some people may argue that romance movies do not set women up for unrealistic expectations and suggest that the movie The Longest Ride would defend this argument. During its opening weekend, The Longest Ride was ranked #3, and its gross income was $13 million; the films gross domestic income stands at $37.4 million. According to Rotten Tomatoes, the critics did not seem to like this film giving it a rating of 29% stating that it is too cliché, but the audience seemed to fall for the cheesiness of the love story giving it a rating of 71%. In this movie, Sophia and Luke have a realistic argument that involves their careers and their future, and I applaud this movie for demonstrating this kind of turn in the plot since it is something that would happen in a real relationship; Sophia has always wanted to pursue her passion in art and find a career through that which she already had set up through an internship, and Luke makes his money to try to save the family farm by bull riding which leads to dangerous injuries. These polar opposite lifestyles end up breaking them apart and have them go their separate ways. Yes, this movie does display realistic arguments that may happen in a relationship and does have realistic consequences, but in the end, Luke ends up making a fortune through an art auction. He wins Sophia back, and uses the money to save his ranch and give Sophia her own art museum.

Women can hope and dream that their Noah, Jack, Patrick, Edward, Henry and even Luke are out there somewhere to sweep them off their feet and fall in love with them forever and ever, but the chances of that happening are very small. They may give you inspiration and ideas for a relationship, but women cannot allow themselves to believe that men will always be willing to do the things that the men do in The Notebook, The Titanic, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Pretty Woman because they will end up in disappointment and heartbreak.