Controversy > Popularity
Humble advice from a young creative professional
Of all the fresh new pearls of wisdom to come out of the collective mind of the millennial generation thus far, one of my personal favorites is this video game inspired meme:
“If playing video games has taught me anything in life, it’s that if you’re encountering enemies, you’re going in the right direction.”
This is great for many reasons. It’s certainly true of most video games, and it makes perfect sense why. Almost by definition, a game of any kind must present some sort of challenging objective to the player, and that usually means fighting off lots of bad guys and capturing the jewel, or rescuing the princess from the tower, or something similar. The basic formula is: start at point A, embark on a journey towards point B, and encounter resistance on that journey.
I believe this formula is essential to video games for reasons that far transcend just video games. It seems to me to be a fundamental aspect of life and actual reality, in addition to any fictional reality, whether that fictional reality be in a video game, a movie, a novel, a play, or anything else. This isn’t to say that life is exactly like a video game; in fact, one could argue video games are popular for the exact opposite reason. However, there’s a reason why this basic formula is universal across virtually all works of fiction, and why it’s so appealing to all of us.
I truly believe that running into actual haters and real people trying to knock you down in real life is every bit as indicative of an important path to follow as it is in a video game. I’d also like to propose an additional theory: if you are not encountering any haters at all, you are almost certainly on the wrong path… or at least a path that doesn’t lead anywhere worth going.
Allow me to explain…
Despite the risk of getting brutally eviscerated in some ghastly, supernaturally graphic and disturbing fashion, running towards our enemies in video games is obviously not truly frightening, and the prospect of encountering such virtual enemies seldom ever stops gamers. Nobody (except my mother) plays video games hoping they will just simply avoid any conflict and finish the game as quickly as possible. Who wants to play that game? It wouldn’t be any fun at all. We want challenges to pop up and get in the way. We want to encounter enemies. In fact, you’ll notice that often times one plays a game actively seeking out the enemy characters, as this of course means one is “going the right way.”
Again, I’m not suggesting that we think of life as a video game. Those high-speed car chases make for excellent daytime television, but they always catch the guy at the end (and he often does a lot of awful damage that can’t be undone simply by “reloading” downtown Los Angeles). But I am suggesting that the way we often think about enemies is flawed. For many of us, the mere prospect of running into real enemies who wish to see us fail can be downright paralyzing. Most of us, consciously or unconsciously, make life decisions in part so as to avoid such resistance, and we make the terrible mistake of interpreting a total lack of negative feedback as an indication that we’re doing the right thing.
But this is just totally wrong. All the most powerful voices in favor of what is right have encountered overwhelmingly negative feedback, no matter who it was, when or where it happened, or how universally admired they might be nowadays. In the 1960’s, did Martin Luther King Jr. encounter nothing but praise and encouragement for all that he did during the Civil Rights Movement? No! He had millions and millions of haters; hardcore haters. He probably encountered as many enemies as anyone ever has, and in fact his life was cut tragically short by one of these enemies. I think it’s really important to remember how unpopular he was…despite the fact that he’s one of the greatest people in the history of this country.
And don’t forget other national heroes as well, such as Abraham Lincoln, who today is often regarded as the greatest American president. He was freaking hated back in the day. When he finally decided it might be a good idea to stop enslaving an entire race of people, he was shot in the back of the head almost immediately. Then there’s Jesus, the most beloved person in the entire history of the world: he was literally NAILED to death. That’s a pretty harsh punishment for telling mankind to love and support one another if you ask me…I’m sure Douglas Adams will back me up on this.
But, even in less remarkable cases of individual bravery, the same is still true. Forward-thinking pioneers of politics, business and technology also consistently encounter powerful resistance and acquire large lists of vehement critics. Alan Turing, who basically invented the modern computer, was widely criticized and ridiculed for his ideas and projects, and only gained proper recognition after his death in 1954. Many scientists who discovered important new theories were either publicly condemned or worse, punished. This includes people like Galileo, Charles Darwin, and Michael Faraday, some of the most important scientists in history.
Lastly, it is even true in the case of art, sports, and everyday social interactions. Those who introduce something new and unfamiliar to help progress the situation are generally greeted with some level of resistance and criticism. Steph Curry has famously been accused of “ruining” the game of basketball because he shoots too many 3-point shots (never mind the fact that he also makes them). Elvis, the “king of rock and roll,” was extremely divisive in his day; many adored him, many were passionately offended by his attitude, style and dance moves. The same is true of NWA; “Fuck tha Police” was and still is one of the most controversial and influential songs ever made. The same goes for any musician that pioneered a new genre, and any artist that created a new style: resistance, criticism, and public ridicule. Even in small circles, such as families and work environments, the one to speak out and push to change things for the better is never going to be liked by everybody. Being told that things aren’t working and need to be improved might be insanely important to human civilization, but boy, it sure is obnoxious! Especially if it cuts into your lunch break…
It’s also worth acknowledging that the reaction of the public is by no means always wrong. If the only feedback one ever receives is consistently, unequivocally negative, this is an indication that the wrong path may have been chosen. Also, divisive controversy can happen with extremely bad historical innovators as well as good ones. In other words, even if some people love you and others hate you, you still might suck ass. In general, I’d say we tend overlook the ways in which we used to hate awesome people, and we also tend to overlook the ways in which we used to love awful people. Many people adored Hitler, many people despised Martin Luther King Jr. (some may have even been *gasp* the same people). The point is: being controversial is clearly not inherently good, and I’m not here to argue any otherwise.
But if you ask me, being uncontroversial, and in particular making a conscious effort to remain uncontroversial, is a waste of time and potential. We may have been highly trained since birth to always be careful, to always follow rules, to always pay attention to our superiors, to try to fit in, to always make friends and get along, to see the good in everyone, to be nice, to be respectful, to be polite, to be popular, to essentially go unnoticed and avoid causing trouble…but that’s a bunch of boring-ass bullshit. These are just lessons that have been passed down from an age-old perpetuating state of fearfulness and dissatisfaction, which (I’m sorry to say) is actually the default life experience of most human beings. Everyone wakes up with a dream and passion, and the dark, intimidating forces of the outside world swoop down and crush them. Many who manage to thrive are simply those who are good-natured and able to accept the fact that they don’t get to do what they want and figure “well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be anyway.” More boring-ass bullshit! We’d be wiser to teach our children to fight for what they truly believe in, and to not be fooled by the illusion of infallibility among all these looming authorities such as school, government, business, and the rest of society. We should tell our children that everything in the world was built by human beings just like them and if they have an idea for how to make it work better, there is no corner of society that cannot be questioned, challenged, or revaluated. We should tell them that the world is deeply fucked up and that we need them to do this; that our world depends on it. That all the people who have made a difference are the ones who dare to be different, not the ones who settle to be the same as everybody else.
That would be the brave message. But way, way too often we get the safety message instead. Life is like a racetrack, and the safety instructors are so concerned with showing you how to buckle your helmet and use the brakes, they forget to show you the gas pedal, or tell you how fast you can go…and then many of us end up wondering why we’re even racing in the first place.
Now, to be fair, it’s actually not that great of a strategy to seek obstacles and run all of them over on a racetrack (trust me, I’ve tried it). But I’m telling you, I think it could be a great strategy for life. At 18, I settled for a college I didn’t want to go to, to study something I didn’t want to learn, so I could one day get a job I wouldn’t want. A semester later, I dropped out, and now, at 22, I’m working professionally as a musician and making actual, real money that I can buy food with…and it is fucking fun! All along the way I’ve been called talentless, embarrassing, cringe-worthy, ugly, boring, gross, naïve, stupid…you name it. Multiple people have implored me to quit, and yet, other people have told me my music has touched their lives. For every person who doesn’t get it at all and who hates or mocks me, there’s another person who completely gets it and who I get to connect with in a uniquely powerful way. As the list of haters grows, so grows the list of fans and people who have been positively affected…and so grows the monthly income.
I’m still a foolish boy with a lot to learn, but I’ve picked up some valuable lessons on this journey so far, and I think one of the most important is this: I now interpret both negative reactions and positive reactions as positive feedback; I interpret no reaction as negative feedback. If I release a new song and people kind of like it and maybe leave a nice comment or two, but generally it doesn’t garner much wider attention or it gets forgotten about quickly, I understand this to mean the song is probably not good enough. If I release a song, some people love it, and some people say “FAG!” or “worst chorus ever!!” and I start to watch that view count go up and up, then I know I’m on to something with real value.
This is a lesson that anyone can learn and benefit from, regardless of how big or how small their ambitions. I consider my ambitions to be relatively small and unremarkable: I produce music that a minority of like-minded Spotify users may resonate with for some period of their lives. However, to me, it’s my purpose on this planet, and I know for a fact (and from actual past experience) that if I made a conscious effort to produce music that I thought everyone would like, that special connection I have with some few thousand people would not exist. What’s more, I would instead be making music that I didn’t even like, trying to convince other people to like it, and playing the role of somebody I wasn’t, just to try and please other people. It is simply not possible to be fulfilled doing that, and I am convinced there are hundreds of seemingly very successful music stars experiencing deep, existential inner turmoil for this exact reason.
My life is better because I’ve been able to learn this lesson. I will never like being called a “whiny fag,” but I am so glad that I’m no longer afraid of it, and that I no longer try to change my art or myself just to avoid it. I derive indescribable satisfaction from knowing that the music I create is the same music that plays in my heart and my soul, that it represents my true self intimately and honestly, and best of all, that the small number of fans I do have aren’t just buying a product I designed for them; they are recognizing me and sharing a real experience with me, in a most peculiar, magical, and real way.
It’s easy to be swayed by the pursuit of things like fame, fortune, and popularity, but I doubt it’s ever really worth it. It’s better to risk being a little controversial. Be divisive. Be different! Find something you really believe in and do that, regardless of how many people respond negatively. I’ve reason to believe you’ll be glad someday.
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something.” -Winston Churchill

