Published in


Breaking into Non-Monogamy

a rapid resource guide for the curious

Comic source:

First, gather a few critical perspectives on love and relationships

  1. The Bigger Picture of Polyamory
  2. How We End Up Marrying the Wrong People
  3. There’s No Such Thing As Everlasting Love, According to Science
  4. Why We Fuck — Evolutionary Roots of Non-Monogamy
  5. Monogamy vs. Polyamory
  6. Casual Love
  7. Types of Nontraditional Relationships

I’m also particularly fond of this graphic designed by Kirstin Rohwer depicting several popular, diverse, and even divisive forms that love & relationships can take:

source: Kirstin Rohwer,

Next, explore some of the tactics for handling jealously, disclosure, and the treatment of your new (and existing) partners

  1. Ten Realistic Rules for Good Non-Monogamous Relationships
  2. Having a polyamorous relationship with a monogamous partner: What your monogamous partner wants you to know
  3. How to Treat Non-Primary Partners Well
  4. Care and Feeding of Polyamorous Secondary Relationships
  5. How to Handle Jealousy
  6. A dialog between a polyamorous and a monogamous person

Finally, get acquainted with the must-read literature for non-monogamous folks

  1. The Ethical Slut
    A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
  2. Opening Up
    A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
  3. More Than Two
    A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory
  4. Sex at Dawn
    How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What it Means for Modern Relationships
  5. Come As You Are
    The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

About the Author…

I’m Steve Dean, an NYC-based online dating consultant.

I offer customized consultations to individuals who need help with dating & relationships, as well as dating sites who need help with product strategy and growth.

I like to write and podcast about dating, relationships, and how to get connected to awesome jobs, roommates, and events. If you’d like to keep tabs on what I’m working on, you can follow my Patreon page, or connect with me anywhere:

Dating & Relationship Coaching | Dateworking Podcast
Patreon | Quora | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram




Life at the cutting edge of dating, sex, and relationships

Recommended from Medium

Date Night and a Coffee Table

best pizza ever at Antico

Love and Self-Worth Within the Black Condition

Anger Hides Behind Many Different Faces!!

Say what you want…#Imabelieveher.

to the people who have come and gone (pt. i)

Dating in Sydney: The Male Model

How to Have Stress-Free Relationships

Kissing Frogs But Praying For A Prince

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Steve Dean

Steve Dean

Dating Industry Consultant & Relationship Coach, | Host of Dateworking Podcast

More from Medium

How Non Monogamy Helped Me Heal from Childbirth Trauma

Before and After

Friendships Suffer Under New Relationships, But Why?

Breaking Down The “Half-Your-Age-Plus-Seven” Rule.