Breaking into Non-Monogamy
a rapid resource guide for the curious
First, gather a few critical perspectives on love and relationships
- The Bigger Picture of Polyamory
https://medium.com/@JasnaTod/the-bigger-picture-of-polyamory-680a573f3d5f - How We End Up Marrying the Wrong People
http://thephilosophersmail.com/relationships/how-we-end-up-marrying-the-wrong-people - There’s No Such Thing As Everlasting Love, According to Science
http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/theres-no-such-thing-as-everlasting-love-according-to-science/267199/ - Why We Fuck — Evolutionary Roots of Non-Monogamy
http://www.raptitude.com/2012/06/why-we-fck/ - Monogamy vs. Polyamory
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/12/monogamy-versus-polyamory-to-commit-or-not-commit-alia-maiter/ - Casual Love
http://blog.carsieblanton.com/post/82149148832/casual-love - Types of Nontraditional Relationships
https://thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/relationship-anarchy-basics/
I’m also particularly fond of this graphic designed by Kirstin Rohwer depicting several popular, diverse, and even divisive forms that love & relationships can take:
Next, explore some of the tactics for handling jealously, disclosure, and the treatment of your new (and existing) partners
- Ten Realistic Rules for Good Non-Monogamous Relationships
http://youonlywetter.co.uk/blog/2013/12/14/10-realistic-rules-for-good-non-monogamous-relationships/?relatedposts_exclude=3395 - Having a polyamorous relationship with a monogamous partner: What your monogamous partner wants you to know
https://www.morethantwo.com/bridgingthedivide.html - How to Treat Non-Primary Partners Well
http://solopoly.net/2012/11/27/non-primary-partners-tell-how-to-treat-us-well/ - Care and Feeding of Polyamorous Secondary Relationships
http://www.morethantwo.com/primarysecondary.html - How to Handle Jealousy
http://www.salon.com/2014/07/14/jealous_of_what_solving_polyamorys_jealousy_problem/ - A dialog between a polyamorous and a monogamous person
https://www.morethantwo.com/polymonodialog.html
Finally, get acquainted with the must-read literature for non-monogamous folks
- The Ethical Slut
A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures - Polysecure
Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy - Opening Up
A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships - More Than Two
A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory - Sex at Dawn
How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What it Means for Modern Relationships - Come As You Are
The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
About the Author…
I’m Steve Dean, an NYC-based online dating consultant.
I offer customized consultations to individuals who need help with dating & relationships, as well as dating sites who need help with product strategy and growth.
I like to write and podcast about dating, relationships, and how to get connected to awesome jobs, roommates, and events. If you’d like to keep tabs on what I’m working on, you can follow my Patreon page, or connect with me anywhere:
Dating & Relationship Coaching | Dateworking Podcast
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