Breaking into Non-Monogamy

a rapid resource guide for the curious

Steve Dean
Dateworking

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Comic source: http://kimchicuddles.com/

First, gather a few critical perspectives on love and relationships

  1. The Bigger Picture of Polyamory
    https://medium.com/@JasnaTod/the-bigger-picture-of-polyamory-680a573f3d5f
  2. How We End Up Marrying the Wrong People
    http://thephilosophersmail.com/relationships/how-we-end-up-marrying-the-wrong-people
  3. There’s No Such Thing As Everlasting Love, According to Science
    http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/theres-no-such-thing-as-everlasting-love-according-to-science/267199/
  4. Why We Fuck — Evolutionary Roots of Non-Monogamy
    http://www.raptitude.com/2012/06/why-we-fck/
  5. Monogamy vs. Polyamory
    http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/12/monogamy-versus-polyamory-to-commit-or-not-commit-alia-maiter/
  6. Casual Love
    http://blog.carsieblanton.com/post/82149148832/casual-love
  7. Types of Nontraditional Relationships
    https://thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/relationship-anarchy-basics/

I’m also particularly fond of this graphic designed by Kirstin Rohwer depicting several popular, diverse, and even divisive forms that love & relationships can take:

source: Kirstin Rohwer, http://metakiki.net

Next, explore some of the tactics for handling jealously, disclosure, and the treatment of your new (and existing) partners

  1. Ten Realistic Rules for Good Non-Monogamous Relationships
    http://youonlywetter.co.uk/blog/2013/12/14/10-realistic-rules-for-good-non-monogamous-relationships/?relatedposts_exclude=3395
  2. Having a polyamorous relationship with a monogamous partner: What your monogamous partner wants you to know
    https://www.morethantwo.com/bridgingthedivide.html
  3. How to Treat Non-Primary Partners Well
    http://solopoly.net/2012/11/27/non-primary-partners-tell-how-to-treat-us-well/
  4. Care and Feeding of Polyamorous Secondary Relationships
    http://www.morethantwo.com/primarysecondary.html
  5. How to Handle Jealousy
    http://www.salon.com/2014/07/14/jealous_of_what_solving_polyamorys_jealousy_problem/
  6. A dialog between a polyamorous and a monogamous person
    https://www.morethantwo.com/polymonodialog.html

Finally, get acquainted with the must-read literature for non-monogamous folks

  1. The Ethical Slut
    A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
  2. Polysecure
    Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy
  3. Opening Up
    A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
  4. More Than Two
    A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory
  5. Sex at Dawn
    How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What it Means for Modern Relationships
  6. Come As You Are
    The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

About the Author…

I’m Steve Dean, an NYC-based online dating consultant.

I offer customized consultations to individuals who need help with dating & relationships, as well as dating sites who need help with product strategy and growth.

I like to write and podcast about dating, relationships, and how to get connected to awesome jobs, roommates, and events. If you’d like to keep tabs on what I’m working on, you can follow my Patreon page, or connect with me anywhere:

Dating & Relationship Coaching | Dateworking Podcast
Patreon | Quora | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram

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Steve Dean
Dateworking

Dating Industry Consultant & Relationship Coach, Dateworking.com | Host of Dateworking Podcast