The Friendship-First Approach to Dating
How a small shift in perspective can completely transform our dating lives
Setting the scene…
Last year, I met a girl named Jessica on OkCupid and we agreed to meet up and go on an adventure date throughout Seattle. We explored new neighborhoods, meandered through parks, and people-watched out of a coffee shop’s balcony. The next week, I hosted a board game night and invited her so she could meet some of my friends. Over the course of our time together, we talked about plenty of our romantic and sexual preferences, but neither of us pressed for anything physical. We kept things friendly and fun rather than expecting things to turn romantic or physical right away.
By not overtly expecting sex, commitment, or even compatibility upfront, and instead focusing on just creating a series of fun, memorable experiences, we had implicitly set the precedent for a friendship-first approach to dating. This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.
Observe what happened next…
