Going Through a “Man Whore” Stage

By Brian Halpin

Man Whore Stage

While the objective of my coaching is to help men find intimate and loving relationships so it supports their greater purpose and passions in life, I believe that a man whore phase is a stage that most men need to go through.

The “Man Whore” stage is when you consciously date non-exclusively and date multiple women.

I went through my own “Man Whore” phase and it is a necessary thing for me to do. I found myself in my mid 20’s not having much experience with women. I didn’t know what I wanted, I lacked confidence, I didn’t know how women worked, I was anxious and uncomfortable around them, I lacked sexual experience and had no idea how to behave in a relationship.

I had encountered many women during this phase who could have potentially been good partners but at the time, I was rightly more committed to learning about women than I was committed to being in a relationship.

This taught me many lessons:

  • I learned about female psychology
  • I learned what I liked and didn’t like in women
  • I learned to appreciate certain qualities in women
  • I got comfortable expressing my sexuality
  • I learned how to let go of an outcome and have more fun
  • I let go of my limiting beliefs about myself, women and the world
  • I learned to soothe my sexual anxieties
  • And the list goes on

Most men jump into a relationship with the first semi-attractive woman who shows a mild interest in them.

The Dating process can be a vehicle for self discovery. This can help you identify what woman you want to be with and because you have gotten dating “out of your system” you can be more committed once in a monogamous relationship.

A woman told me about a guy she was dating on Tinder, basically the guy told her that he wasn’t interested in a relationship and just wanted to fuck. Now how do you think she responded? She told him that she was not that kind of woman but appreciated his honesty. I asked her, if she was looking for a relationship and she said “no, not necessarily”. I asked “What would you do, if he never brought it up and just led the interaction towards sex”. She admitted that she probably would have had sex with him.

This is the thing, you don’t have to verbalize your intentions unless you are asked. The important thing is that while you are leading, you are not creating false illusions. This means:

  • Not having her sleep over for the weekend
  • Not taking her on dates
  • Not introducing her to your family and friends
  • Not doing “boyfriend and girlfriend” things together
  • Creating a lot of space away from each other
  • Not being too available for calls/texts
  • Invite her over late at night

When it comes to the “Man Whore” phase you want to ensure that you practice safe sex, no matter what she says. Always have condoms on hand. Always leave your home “sex ready” this means having a clean kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. Practice setting the tone and leading, practice creating tension, practice testing for interest, practice your social skills, practice soothing your anxieties, practice being congruent, practice being bold and risky.

The dating process will teach you things that a relationship never would and a relationship will teach you things that dating never would. So enjoy the learning.

The purpose of both anyway is to USE THEM AS VEHICLES FOR PERSONAL GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT.