Understanding the Difference Between Being Vulnerable and Being Open

Intamateo
Dating with Intention
4 min readAug 13, 2023
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

In the intricate tapestry of human relationships and interactions, two concepts often find themselves at the forefront: vulnerability and openness. While these terms are often used interchangeably, they carry distinct nuances that shape the dynamics of communication, connection, and personal growth. In this article, we delve into the profound difference between being vulnerable and being open, shedding light on how each contributes to the fabric of our emotional experiences.

In brief:

Vulnerability is a state of being that involves exposing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and emotions, often in the face of uncertainty or emotional risk. Emphasis on risk, here. I like to think of this as matters of the heart. ❤️

Being open, on the other hand, involves a willingness to share and communicate openly about our thoughts, experiences, and perspectives. I like to think of this as matters of the mind. 🧠

The Heart of Vulnerability

Risk · Courage · Authenticity · Going Inward

The Latin word “vulnus”—which then became “vulnerabilis”, and then “vulnerable”—is part of the broader Latin vocabulary related to injuries, wounds, and healing. 😬

Vulnerability is a state of being that involves exposing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and emotions, often in the face of uncertainty or emotional risk. It is an act of courage that requires us to let go of our armor and reveal our true selves, imperfections and all. Vulnerability is an invitation to connect with others on a deep and authentic level, creating bonds that are rooted in shared humanity and empathy.

Key Aspects of Vulnerability

  • Risk and Courage: Vulnerability requires stepping into the unknown and taking emotional risks. It takes courage to expose our true selves, especially when there is a possibility of rejection or judgment.
  • Intimacy and Connection: When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we create a space for genuine intimacy and connection. Sharing our vulnerabilities can lead to deeper understanding and empathy from others.
  • Embracing Imperfections: Vulnerability involves acknowledging and embracing our imperfections, insecurities, and fears. It’s about showing up as our authentic selves, without pretense or masks.
  • Emotional Impact: Being vulnerable often elicits strong emotional responses, both from ourselves and from those we share our vulnerabilities with. It can lead to moments of catharsis and emotional release.

The Art of Being Open

Sharing · Understanding · Transparency · Becoming Expansive

Being open (or being frank, forthright), on the other hand, involves a willingness to share and communicate openly about our thoughts, experiences, and perspectives. It is a state of receptivity and transparency that fosters understanding and meaningful dialogue. Being open creates a bridge between individuals, enabling the exchange of ideas and emotions without the same level of emotional exposure as vulnerability.

Key Aspects of Openness

  • Honest Communication: Openness is characterized by honest and straightforward communication. It involves sharing thoughts, opinions, and experiences in a sincere and transparent manner.
  • Sharing Information: Being open means freely sharing information without withholding important details or thoughts. It promotes clarity and prevents misunderstandings.
  • Creating Dialogue: Openness paves the way for constructive dialogue and exchange of ideas. It encourages active listening and mutual respect in conversations.
  • Maintaining Boundaries: While openness involves sharing, it doesn’t necessarily require revealing deeply personal emotions or vulnerabilities. It allows individuals to communicate while still maintaining a level of emotional protection.

Finding Balance Between Being Vulnerable and Being Open

The distinction between vulnerability and openness lies in the depth of emotional exposure and the level of personal risk involved. I personally have found a LOT of personal and relationship growth when being vulnerable. This comes with an element of risk, but, as they say, no risk no reward.

On that note, you don’t want to sit in vulnerability too long / much. It can put a strain on emerging relationships, especially when you are starting to date someone. That is where the following comes in:

  • Read the room. If you are getting vulnerable, you need to pay attention to the listener and back off if you feel they are getting too nervous or weary.
  • Vulnerability can be heavy; openness can get wild. With vulnerability you tend to be going inward and deep—sharing hidden parts of you. With openness, you tend to be expanding and moving outward—building bridges between you.
  • Openness is expected; vulnerability is rare. I have found while dating that being vulnerable is incredibly rare for men. Being open is expected, but also not very common. When done well, this is where you can really stand out on dates!

In Summary

While vulnerability invites us to dive deep into our emotional core and share our innermost selves, openness focuses on transparent communication and the sharing of thoughts and experiences. Both vulnerability and openness play crucial roles in building meaningful connections, fostering empathy, and nurturing personal growth.

Ultimately, finding a balance between vulnerability and openness is a personal journey. It’s about knowing when to share your deepest emotions and when to communicate openly about your thoughts and experiences. By understanding the difference between these two concepts, you can navigate your relationships and interactions with greater awareness and intention, creating a tapestry of connections that honor both your authenticity and your emotional boundaries.

More on Taking Risks

How the Daily Risk Challenge Can Improve Your Confidence →

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Intamateo
Dating with Intention

Intamateo is a collection of my learnings over the years, through 4 therapists, 3 personal coaches, 2 groups, and a shaman. I’m still exploring my insides.