I lie in my bed and my eyes are stinging
Like jellyfish, swimming in the ocean
Of my tears, salty like how I’m feeling
After knowing you left me for another
Years together exchanged for one night
Am I a currency depreciated over time?
His eyes no longer met mine and I knew
There’s no longer any love for me here
I turned and faced away, the darkness
A welcome sight from the reality as cold
As my back that received no embrace,
No assurance that this was all a mistake
Your silence spoke over my despair and
The sobs that escaped my open mouth.
I try to breathe, but the air was smokey
From the cigarette you had after dinner
Where you bought steak and told them
To cook it rare, like I wanted. It was rare
That you did something that I wanted.
Was it the guilt eating you up inside?
I hope it eats you alive and spits you out
To eat you again. A Sisyphean task, one
Well-deserved, but I keep my thoughts
Bottled up like wine sent to the cellar
I’ll pop them open once I tell my friends
And we’ll drink until we’ve forgotten
That you cheated me out of love with
No remorse at all for hurting my heart
But no drunken stupor will keep me
From the memory of how you left me
To deal with the burning hatred as hot
As an inferno, as hot as the Icarian sun
Can I even learn to trust again after this
Or will I be encased in a body of flame?
Will the next boy who flies close to me
Turn into ashes because I was afraid?
I cry, and I cry, until we lungs give out
A half hour of complete silence, then
Movement: his arm draped over me
While I felt his chest warm my back
His lips tickled my ears as he whispered
A litany of apologies. Practiced, like a
Ritual of consolation that all men knew:
The right words, the right things to say
I turned around to finally face him again
And as I began to say “we are through”,
His tongue caught mine in my throat.
He hugs me too tightly. I can’t breathe.
I grasp for a lifeline, but I’m drowning.
My eyes are stinging and I see jellyfish.
They swim around me and they’re the
Last thing I see before I feel the stings.
