If I Was

A bird with wings.

Photo by Samujjal Handique on Unsplash

If I was a bird with wings
The sort that chirps and sings
I’d travel around.
Above the ground
And watch out.
For fish with fins

If I were a hermaphrodite
And had sharp teeth I’d bite.
The postman’s legs.
Eat ham and eggs.
And howl at
The moon at night

If I was a professor of languages
I’d use unfair advantages.
I’d go on a quiz show.
Because I’d know
All the answers
Using the law of averages

If I were a ten-headed snake
And lived nearby on a lake.
If you’d cut off a head
I’d grow two instead.
And be partial.
To eat Greek cake

If I was a snuffling dog
And partly resembled a hog.
I’d scare the cats.
And eat the rats.
And at night-time
Sleep in a log