Teacher
If I could reach you.
Teacher, teacher if I could reach you
I think that you should know
I’ve joined a weird sort of cult
And have a brand-new beau.
She’s into Tantric
And stands on her head
We now do it upside down.
And never use a bed.
So, I won’t be attending class.
For I don’t know how long
As I’ve learnt a new mantra
It is sung like a sort of song.
It’s repetitious, and we hum it.
Cross-legged on a mat
And it goes like this
Om Hrim Strim Hum Phat
After chanting these five words
For an hour or even more
I lapse into a coma-like sleep
And start to snort and snore
When I woke, I was hanging from a beam
Hanging by my feet
And was told by being upside down
It would help me get to sleep.
We then all went up to Nimbin
In the back of a VW Kombi
We had a group loop along the way
Till I felt like a Zombie.
When we arrived, we all reefed off
Our sandals and our clothes
And wandered around in a purple haze
And were severely on the nose.
We ate no meat, just orgasmic veg
And got skinny as cut snakes
And one day, we drove to Lismore
And on the way, we lost our brakes.
We used the gears to slow us down
When going down steep hills
And were so high on Ganga
We laughed at the thrills and spills.
The North Coast drug squad
It had a very different agenda
And searched the Kombi for drugs
And ended our little bender.
They told us we were vermin.
And to get the hell out of town
And if they spotted us again
We’d most certainly all, go down.
So, I figured by then, the best plan
Was to lick-split
So, in the early hours of the morning
I did a moonlight flit.
I hitched my way to Sydney.
And slept in the back of a truck
Hoping to turn over a new leaf
And permanently change my luck.
Now, teacher, there is something.
I’m sure you’ll want to know.
I’ve now changed my bygone ways.
And as pure as the driven snow.
I have an excellent job with some kiddies too
And an ever-loving wife
And do it horizontally now
And steer well clear of strife.
©
David Rudder
2010
Thank you for reading this piece and my poetry.
