Cheap Iced Tea: The Only Good Drink

Prices, generally speaking are contentious subjects. People get very mad when prices go up. Uber surge pricing brings out the animal in people, the prices of new phones and video game systems causes techies to howl for eons into the night. When the price of Netflix went up by a buck or two, whole cities descended into madness. The National Guard was called in and martial law was declared, if I recall correctly.

In my mind, however, there is only one price point that matters. One price point, that should it change, would cause the global economy to implode and civilization to crumble.

$1 for a can of Arizona iced tea.

The Arizona tall boy is the most important drink format in the history of the world because it combines iced tea — the best drink — with value. Arizona iced tea is, itself, great. It tastes great. It comes in a million flavors (personal preference: raspberry, then lemon, Arnold Palmer, and peach). You’ll never run out of options.

But the ritual of buying an Arizona is also secretly one of my favorite things about living in New York. I rarely keep Arizona iced tea in my fridge at home; I always try to buy it straight from the bodega fridge.

The $1 price point is key to this ritual, because after a few times of buying an Arizona at the same bodega, you get to just walk in, grab one from the fridge, slap a buck on the counter, and leave. No counting change, no verifying that you paid the correct amount, no receipt, no words. Just a mutual unspoken agreement.

In the summer, when the heat collects inside, I scrounge around on my desk for four quarters, throw on some flip-flops, run across the street, and grab a ‘Zona. The whole thing maybe takes 20 seconds. It’s a magical ceremony. And then, because it’s ten billion degrees, I’d chug half the thing on first sip.

In the winter, it’s basically the same thing, only Arizona cans suddenly seem to swell in capacity. An Arizona that lasts you two minutes in the summer can last you two hours in the winter. The physics of it are mystifying.

I’ll occasionally pick up a can of ‘Zona that I thought was empty, only to find there’s still more sweet nectar inside. Arizona: always full of surprises.

Arizona tall boys are the great equalizer, beloved by both the blue collar worker and the Wall Street wheeler-and-dealer. They taste delicious, they’re cheap as heck, and they’re everywhere. Everyone has equal access to Arizona. If you ever walk into a bodega and they don’t have Arizona, turn around and walk out. Never return.

God bless Arizona Iced Tea, the best thing that this country has ever produced and ever will produce.