#169 — DEAD OR ALIVE
The Destroyer of Sofas
…was currently hiding underneath one
Just like his theoretical cousin, Schrödinger’s, The Destroyer of Sofas was hidden in the dark. No one knew for sure if he was dead or alive.
His so-called owners, who thought they knew him, called him Jerry or JJ or you bastard, and even though they did appreciate his work, they did not realize the intricate connection between his special abilities with the sofas and his accurate name.
They tried to trim his claws and thought it could stop him from doing his work. They bought him a scratching board to distract him from his mission. They even threatened to make him wear socks.
Let them try, giggled The Destroyer of Sofas. Ultimately, they would go back to Ikea and find me a new target to demolish.
But now, two years and three sofas later, a real threat was lurking in front of him, distracting him from exercising his duty.
They called him Dexter, but his real name was The Annoying Attention Seeker.
The Annoying Attention Seeker had spent a good part of the day trying to play with The Destroyer of Sofas. The labradoodle pup was only a few months old, but already twice the size of his opponent, and quadruply stupid.