#329 — DEAD OR ALIVE
We Have an Alien for You
“Todd was still hoping it would turn out to be a disfigured cow.”
Todd walked into Zenith and gratefully ordered a whiskey. It wasn’t normal for him to be in a bar on a Wednesday, but then, there was little about the work day he’d just had that could really be described as “normal.” The alcohol felt necessary to unwind.
It had started out normal enough. He had arrived at his veterinary clinic to find Zoe answering a call behind the front desk and two dogs and a cat waiting in the lobby. His senses took in the familiar musky animal smells and the music meant to soothe anxious patients.
Two hours into his shift, however, “normal” abruptly came to an end. Three men in dark suits entered the building, flashed around their government badges and demanded that everyone leave the premises so they could speak to Dr. Todd privately.
“Your country needs you. We need to commandeer you, your expertise, your equine MRI and any other imaging technology you possess for large animals.” They said matter of factly. “We also need you to sign this nondisclosure agreement which lists some quite unpleasant consequences if you speak to anyone about what you see today.”
Disturbed, but intrigued, Todd signed their forms and listened to the briefing.
“We have an alien for you.”
Todd choked back a laugh. “I’m sorry, what?”
Dark suit #1 sighed. Apparently he was used to having to repeat things to shocked civilians.
“An alien.” He said again, without emotion. “There’s something wrong with it. We need you to find out what and fix it so we can go back to our regularly scheduled experiments.” The man thrust a medical file into his hands. “This is what we know about it so far.” The file was not very thick.
“You can’t be serious. I’m a vet. I work with animals… Earth animals….” Todd was still struggling with the “we have an alien” part of the story. He had so many questions. Where had it come from? Why was it on Earth? How had it had the misfortune of falling into government hands?
“This project is very important to your president.” Dark suit #2 pulled a handgun out and calmly laid it on the exam table. He said nothing, but the message was clear. No more questions.
“Oh, okay. Right. Good. Sure. Yes.” Todd nodded vigorously and pasted a falsely cheerful smile on his face. “Let’s uh… take a look at this alien of yours!”
Dark suit #1 said something into his lapel mic and then all of them, Todd included, made their way to the back of the building where large animals could be brought in for procedures and emergencies through massive bay doors.
Todd was still half-hoping the alien would turn out to be a disfigured cow or perhaps a deep-sea creature thought to be extinct that had resurfaced. But as he looked at the body the government suits rolled into his clinic those hopes evaporated. This life form was clearly not from Earth.
He set about a physical exam, aware of the constant, and threatening, supervision. The alien had six tentacles and a tail with a barb on the end, like a scorpion. Two of the appendages seemed more rigid than the others and the bottoms ended in a hard substance, like the hooves of a horse. Todd guessed that the creature was bipedal like a human. He could imagine the alien walking upright with the tail for balance, leaving four tentacle-like arms for gripping and manipulating objects. The torso blended smoothly into a thick, muscular neck and although the facial features were clearly not human, they had all of the same parts. The teeth were a surprise, though. A double row of sharp points led Todd to believe this species was likely carnivorous. The teeth, the tail, the dexterity of the tentacles, and the sheer size were enough to convince him that the alien was probably dangerous and perfectly capable of causing harm when not sedated.
The vet concluded his exam by weighing the alien and checking its vital statistics. He had to make a guess at where the heart was located and had even more difficulty knowing where to put the thermometer. He chose not to tell the suits that these numbers wouldn’t do him a lot of good as far as diagnosing the problem since he had no idea what the measurements should be. The alien’s normal body temperature could be anywhere from volcano-hot to glacier-cold, there was just no way to know.
Finally, Todd decided it was time to get a look at the inside. With difficulty, the suits wrestled the alien body into the equine MRI to see what they could see. Although he couldn’t help but be fascinated by the opportunity, Todd was also starting to question whether what they were doing was entirely moral. It was starting to feel a bit invasive. He was quickly losing his appetite for poking and prodding this undoubtedly foreign, yet wonderful being.
Todd delivered his findings with the highest degree of professionalism he could muster given the situation. “In conclusion,” he said, “I can detect no obvious signs of illness, disease, or injury. What I can tell you is that your alien is pregnant.”
Before the suits could react, a strange ripple flowed through the body of the alien. Then another. And another. She opened her eyes, and then her mouth and in spite of all the teeth the sound she emitted was ethereally beautiful. The melody began to repeat and Todd knew that it must be a mantra or sacred chant of sorts. He stood back in awe. “I think,” he amended his conclusion for the confused suits around him, “she is pregnant and she is going into labour.”
The suits went into full-blown panic. They all started talking into their lapel mics at once. Suit #3 started frantically pacing. Suit #2 started grabbing random pieces of medical equipment and thrusting them at Dr. Todd. “Will you need this? How about this? What about a nurse or, or, an assistant? What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO?”
Todd smiled at their fear. “Her body was designed for this,” he said calmly. “In my experience, the best thing to do is leave her alone and let her get on with it. I don’t know about anyone else, but I could use a drink.”
Thank you for reading! This story was inspired by a prompt to use the following words and phrase in a piece of writing: Volcano, Glacier, Music, Scorpion, Chant, Dangerous, Moral, Zenith, “it wasn’t normal.”
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