Are strip clubs demeaning to women?
Dear Dale:
I like strip clubs but my girlfriend doesn’t. She thinks they’re demeaning to women. What’s that about?
Signed,
Guilty pleasure
Dear GP:
Of course it’s demeaning. All employment is. You think I enjoy standing around pretending to work? Sometimes, I’m even tempted to do something. Just to pass the time. But I refuse to give my boss the satisfaction.
Same thing with strippers. You think they enjoy standing naked on a stage shaking their tits for a bunch of fat ugly drunks? Of course not. But they do it. Because they’ve got kids or a drug addiction to support.
I get it. I’m a family man. Not my family, of course. But I’m more than willing to stick bills in a stripper’s crotch if it’ll help feed her family.
And don’t think they don’t know it. Unlike some guys, who just sit and stare, I pay for extra. Hell, half my check goes to lap dances. Some girls even ask to work that day. Because they know they’re going to make money.
It’s my home away from home. Which is just as well since I live in a cold dank basement. I also take most of my meals there. They have an excellent buffet. Cheap too, since it’s mostly leftovers from the restaurant upstairs.
I even spend Christmas there. Why not? I’ve got nowhere else to go. The girls do a special show of raunchy Christmas songs and there’s a big meal after. Turkey loaf with all the trimmings. Mustard, ketchup… you name it.
It’s also the only time they’re allowed to bring their kids. Put me off at first. But then I realized: it’s Take Your Daughter to Work Day. Most of those kids, the girls anyway… they’ll probably grow up to do the same. So they might as well learn about it now.
The only bad point is the Christians. Those guys really burn me. Always standing outside, harassing the patrons and making the girls feel bad… they ought to be ashamed of themselves.
They think they’re so moral. Personally, I think they’re just stingy. I mean, really: what would Jesus do? I think He’d be in the front row with a raging boner, slipping the girls tens and twenties and using His God-given powers to turn Aspirin into OxyContin. I sure would.
A lot of people put drugs down. Prefer to take their suffering straight. What’s worse, they expect the rest of us to. Molested as a child? Chin up. Not for you the pleasures of oblivion. So what if you need something to deal with the horror of your memories? Just pray.
Not me. I believe in getting high. Sometimes, I’ll even slip them a pill in a kiss. Because that’s the kind of guy I am. Considerate.
Now ask yourself: which one of us really cares about these girls? Guys like you and me? Or your moralistic girlfriend? Thought so.
So keep going to strip clubs. Get a lap dance and tip generously. You’ll be glad you did. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
