Can people refuse to work for political reasons?
Dear Dale:
I’m Canadian but please don’t hold that against me. I live in Saskatchewan which is a lot like North Dakota except we can’t pack heat when we go to daycares. Anyway I wanted to see this movie all about the truckers who went to Ottawa to fight the government for trying to make them get a shot for the China virus but I couldn’t because the employees wouldn’t work.
I’m not a big union guy I think people should be allowed to work for next to nothing if that’s what they really want but times are tough with Trudeau in charge he’s as bad as Biden and I understand people need a bit more dough.
I talked to one of people out front but turns out it isn’t about money. They just don’t like the movie which they haven’t even seen because it makes the truckers look like heroes which they are.
I couldn’t believe it. Here I am trying to put money in the pocket of a small business owner and they won’t let me. It’s communism all over again.
I know you’re a busy guy Dale and I’m sorry for bothering you but what the heck? Can they do that? Can people refuse to work for political reasons?
Signed,
Please, sorry and thank you
Dear PSATY:
First off, I got nothing against Canadians. For one thing, you make damn good hockey players. And the world would be a much poorer place without salmon and maple syrup and… whatever else you produce.
As for all those busybodies who keep trying to tell us what we can and can’t do… I couldn’t agree more.
Let me tell you a story. I was on a plane once.
(This was before they put me on the no-fly list.)
And just settling into A Clockwork Orange when the guy next to me objected. Told me his pastor said it was a bad film and he shouldn’t watch it.
“No problem,” I said. “Just close your fucking eyes.”
But, for some reason, that wasn’t good enough for him. Complained to the flight attendant and she asked me not to watch it.
“Fuck that,” I replied, pointing to the screen, which read: This film has been edited for your viewing pleasure. “You’ve already cut out the good parts.”
(Are people today really so weak they’re traumatized by the sight of a tit?)
“Then you won’t mind not seeing it,” she said, and turned off my screen.
I turned it back on. That, combined with a few less than inaudible F-bombs, caught the attention of the Air Marshall.
(Strike one for the no-fly list.)
Long story short I didn’t get to see the movie. Or go to Vegas. But I did get to see the inside of an airport jail. So that’s something.
Mind you, that’s par for the course for us. America is full of intolerant fools, fundamentalist Christian nutjobs on the right and authority-hating libtards on the left, all eager to strike a blow for freedom by shouting others down.
But Canada? I didn’t think you had it in you. I thought you were a bunch of Dudley Do-Rights who welcome immigrants, always say please and thank you and have this absurd live-and-let-live philosophy where you try to get along.
Turns out you’re not so special after all. And I got to admit: I’m glad. Like a lot of Americans, I’m tired of being looked down on by you Canucks.
Used to be, back in the fifties, we were on top of the world and you admired us. But ever since Dubya, you think you’re better than us.
But now, thanks to the ever-increasing Americanization of your country, you’re becoming just as petty and intolerant as us. And thank God for that.
(We do that here. Thank God for things. Unlike you ungrateful atheists.)
So next time you’re feeling smug and tempted to look down on those of us below the border — I may be stupid but I got that dig about packing heat in daycares — take a good long look in the mirror instead.
You may not like what you see: inequality, homelessness, racism… There’s not much difference between us. Not anymore.
(Maybe there never was. Just ask the Indians.)
So why not join us? Drop this fiction of being an independent country — you already watch our movies and listen to our music and we totally control your economy — and become the fifty-first state.
(Do you really want Puerto Rico to beat you to it?)
You’ll be glad you did. Because together, we’ll have the whole continent.
(Except for Mexico. But who wants that?)
Wouldn’t that be cool? One big country, bigger even than Russia.
(We could finally put those Russkies in their place.)
With your resources flowing south and our problems flooding north.
You know it’s going to happen eventually. We’re just too strong. Truth is, we could crush you in an afternoon and still make Happy Hour.
But we don’t want it to be like that. Not like Putin and the Ukraine.
(Talk about a romance gone wrong.)
No, we want you to come to us willingly. So that we can absorb you in the spirit of friendship. Like England did to Scotland, West Germany did to East and Microsoft does to every startup ever created.
And together, we’ll be one big unhappy family: The Dis-United States of America and Canada. DUSAC, for short.
Until then, good luck fighting your government.
(Another proud American tradition.)
As for thanking me… there’s no need. I’m just doing my job. But since you’re my first foreign correspondent — just Canada but still — and I know how much you Canucks value politeness, I’m going to say something we Americans almost never say: You’re welcome. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
