How can I get people to accept my sexuality?
Dear Dale:
I’m an anal invader. I’m also bisexual. I know that’s unusual. Most people fall into one camp or the other but I’ve never understood that. To me, the real division is between attractive and unattractive, not male and female.
Way I look at it, when you’ve got your cock buried in a nice tight little ass, what does it matter what’s dangling below? A pair of balls or a pair of tits, it’s all the same to me. A bit of lube and it’s smooth sliding either way.
Unfortunately, most people don’t see it that way. Besides being appalled, they see me as a sexual traitor. Just because one minute I’m talking about some woman I fucked and the next, I’m doing a guy in the can.
It didn’t matter so much before when I was a dog and fucked anything that moved but I’ve since slowed down and am even in a relationship.
Two, actually. One gay and one straight.
Problem is, they know about each other — I made the mistake of being honest — and they’ve laid down the law: it’s either me or him/her.
But I like them both and resent the position they’ve put me in. It’s so childish. Like back in high school, where you can only have one best friend. Either way, I have to surrender half of myself. How can I make them understand that?
Signed,
Switch hitter
Dear SH:
I know what you mean. People can be so small-minded. Like you, I’ve suffered from sexual discrimination: you wouldn’t believe the number of women who, finding out I was married, refused to sleep with me.
But you got to look at it from their point of view. It’s like driving. Everyone’s got a lane and, so long as you stick to it, everything’s okay. But if you start weaving from side to side, it makes people nervous. Believe me, I know.
Now if you only do it every now and then, when you’re drunk say, it’s okay. People can understand that. But to be stone-cold sober and purposefully take two lanes… well, let’s just say no one’s going to take your side in court.
As for being honest… don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s hard to live a lie. Sooner or later, you’re going to slip up and accidently tell the truth. Happens to the best of us.
Not that it matters. Your real mistake was getting into a relationship with the people you’re fucking. Should’ve stayed a dog. But it’s too late for that.
Actually, I think this is really about jealousy. Each of your bum buddies thinks the other is getting more of your time and attention.
So become a sexual timeshare. Divide your week up.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, you bang the dude.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, you bang the broad.
Sunday, you rest. Odds are, you’ll need it.
Or the other way around. Or alternate days. Anything. So long as you spend the same amount of time with each.
Another option is to bring them together. Suggest a threesome. If the Arabs can have two wives, why not you?
The danger, of course, is that they’ll band against you. Find common cause in their complaints. But that’s just the risk you’ll have to take.
Worst comes to worst, they’ll dump you and you can go back to being a dog. Win-win situation, any way you look at it.
So stand your ground. Refuse to choose between them. Be a bastard if you have to. You’ll be glad you did. Because no one likes a half moon. Or, even worse, a crescent.
No, it’s the full moon that gets your blood going.
(Ask anyone who works in a jail or emergency room.)
If it’s good enough for werewolves and serial killers, it’s good enough for you too. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
