Is bestiality wrong?
Dear Dale:
I’m a middle-aged woman, bit on the heavy side, who’s long since given up on men. I have a career and a condo, lots of friends, two lovely nieces and a top-of-the-line vibrator. So who needs men? Most of whom are just jerks.
I also have a dog. A Great Dane named Henry. He’s everything my boyfriend wasn’t: kind, affectionate and, most of all, loyal. He’s never going to leave me for a twenty-three-year-old flight attendant.
One night, after coming home from a party, I was feeling horny so I pulled out my vibrator and was slowly stroking myself when I noticed Henry looking at me from the bottom of the bed. I always put him in the kitchen with some food before I get going but this time, I was too drunk and forgot.
Next thing I knew, he was on top of me, his long thin body slipping between my legs. “No Henry,” I said. “Bad dog.” But he kept going and I was too drunk to stop him. Or so I told myself at the time.
But the truth is, I liked it. The feel of him inside me. His hot breath on my face. The excitement of doing something shameful. Oh, Henry!
It didn’t last long. But neither did my ex-boyfriend. Or any of the other men I’ve been with. Most of whom left me feeling unsatisfied. At least Henry didn’t immediately put on his pants and go watch football with his friends.
On the contrary, we laid there for a long time, caressing and cuddling. I’ve never felt so close to a lover.
Since then, it’s become a regular thing. A few times a week. Henry always gets excited when he sees me take out the tequila.
Unfortunately, he’s come to associate alcohol with sex. Which is a problem when I have a party. As soon as he sees the booze, he tries to hump me. Which can be quite embarrassing, especially when I have co-workers over.
Some of my friends have even begun to suspect. Keep asking if I have a boyfriend and I sometimes catch them giving Henry odd looks.
So what should I do? Come clean, tell them about my relationship with Henry and risk their disapproval or continue to hide it from the world?
Signed,
Dog lover
Dear DL:
Wow! Lucky dog. And kudos to you. Gay, bi, even trans… it’s all old news. But bestiality? You’re really pushing the envelope. My hat’s off to you.
As for the morality of it… I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s clearly consensual.
It would be different if it were the other way around, a guy fucking a female dog: given the anatomical differences, it would probably be pretty painful.
But I doubt Henry experienced any physical discomfort. And his mental state seems pretty good too.
As for coming out to your friends, I wouldn’t recommend it. Not all at once, anyway. Odds are, they’ll be embarrassed. Maybe even shocked.
(Bestiality is still in the early stages of acceptance.)
The most you can hope for is laughter. That and a few jokes. Great Dane indeed!
Better to do it by stealth. Go out with a friend, the most gossipy one you know, someone who’s bound to betray you, and, after half a dozen drinks, tell her, in the strictest of confidence, that you’re banging your dog. Odds are, she’ll immediately fake a trip to the washroom to spread the news.
This has two advantages.
First, it allows people to absorb the information at a distance. Not only is it less embarrassing, it eliminates the possibility of a misunderstanding: if you tell them at home, with Henry in front of them and happily panting, they may think you’re suggesting a threesome.
Secondly, deniability. If the reaction is too severe, you can always lie and say she misunderstood you. Either that or has started a malicious rumor. All the more reason to pick someone with a history of doing so.
Most people will be appalled but I’ll bet at least one of them will come up to you later and secretly confess to doing the same. People are always talking about how their pet is part of the family. Stands to reason that, for some of them, especially single women like you, he’s also the man of the house.
And bit by bit you can build your secret society of human-animal romance. You think the gays started off with pride parades? Hell no. They had to lurk in the shadows for centuries before society became open-minded enough to accept them. Even I accept them. And I’m a total asshole.
So start small and work your way up. Who knows? Maybe a hundred years from now there’ll be a statue of you, bent-over and buck-naked, with Henry hunched over you, in parks across the land, celebrating your courage as a sexual pioneer and your contribution to the social acceptance of bestiality.
You go girl. You’ll be glad you did. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
