Is there something wrong with me?
Dear Dale:
I’m a middle-aged housewife who likes being at home with my family. I don’t think about politics or religion or any of those other things that make people so mad. I go to parties and talk about fun stuff like quilting but people look at me like I’m stupid. Is there something wrong with me?
Signed,
Not riled up
Dear NRU:
There sure is. Because there’s nothing more American than having strong opinions on subjects you know absolutely nothing about.
(Thank God for the internet: it’s a veritable force multiplier of ignorance.)
That and stand up for yourself by shouting others down.
(It’s your constitutional right: life, liberty and the pursuit of selfishness.)
But, now that I think about it, you’re probably not the only one. There are probably millions of people like you: poor apolitical souls who just want to enjoy life — go to barbeques, watch baseball and play with their kids — rather than get sucked into a news-inspired frenzy of fury and self-righteousness.
So why not get together? It’ll have to be a secret society of course — like the Masons, but without the orgies — or partisans of various stripes will attempt to infiltrate it and poison you with their passions.
(We all know how important those swing voters are.)
The only problem is finding one another. Because, unlike your opposites, who loudly proclaim their opinions to all around, placid people don’t stand out.
But my guess is, you’re everywhere: looking down during dinner, hiding in the kitchen at family events and disappearing into the wallpaper at parties.
You just have to know where to look.
So do it: find your tribe. You’ll be glad you did. Because, although it’ll take time, think of all the fun you’ll have: devising secret signals, wearing funny hats, slaughtering chickens at midnight and drinking their blood… the usual acts of a secret society. Just don’t institute purity tests. Or you’ll become as bad as all the people you’re trying to avoid. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
