Will having a kid ruin my life?
Dear Dale:
My girlfriend is pregnant. What should I do?
Signed,
Bummed out
Dear BO:
That depends. How attached are you? In the old days, you could skip town. Move to another city and start a new life under a different name. But those days are long gone. Now, with today’s technology, if you run, she’ll probably track you down and make you pay child support.
(Thanks a lot, computers.)
So just accept the fact that your life is over. And if you decide to stay with her, don’t fight it. A lot of guys, they battle for every inch of ground and still get driven back into their end zone.
You’re better off just punting the ball into the air and letting her have it. Yes, you’ll lose almost everything you find fun — no more all-day drunks — but you can bury yourself in sports. There’s always a game on somewhere and you can watch it while pretending to take care of your kid. Which is the whole point of 24-hour sports channels. To keep married men sane. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
