Why won’t my girlfriend sleep with me?
Dear Dale:
I met this woman. We started dating a couple weeks ago but every time I get close, she says no. What’s that about?
Signed,
Tired of not getting anywhere
Dear TONGA:
I understand your frustration. Been there many times myself. You think you’re getting somewhere and then suddenly, the drawbridge goes up.
Pregnancy was the excuse in the old days. No entry without a wedding ring.
But then some genius invented the pill. Boy, if anyone ever deserved a Nobel Prize, it was him. Can’t believe he never got it.
So now that women can control their fertility, they should, in theory at least, be spending the bulk of their day lying in bed with their panties hanging from the nearest lampshade. And yet, for some reason, they don’t.
It’s a puzzle, I know, but think about it: if you had a big bag of gold, would you squander it on strangers? Of course not. It’s the same thing.
Besides, old habits die hard. The separation into sexes happened long ago. Long before humanity. Every heard of the birds and the bees? Females have been frustrating us for millions of years. Why stop now?
May seem unfair but there’s a good reason for it. Because once we males succeed in planting our seed, our minds turn to other things. Sports. Food. Fishing. Anything other than the woman under us. Getting over the goal line is everything. Once there, we relax. Which is nature’s way of saying: “Good job guys. You did your part. The rest is up to her.”
And it is: pregnancy, childbirth and child-rearing… that’s all the woman’s job.
And they know it. Which is why they make us wait so long: the more hoops we are willing to jump through, the more likely it is we actually care about them. As opposed to just faking it for sex. Which is what most men do.
It’s not that she won’t have sex with you. She just wants to see how badly you want it and how much you’re willing to sacrifice to get it. Instinct, really.
But sometimes instinct goes awry and the relationship never makes it out of the testing phase. Like a black hole constantly sucking up energy and matter, the woman needs endless reassurance. Which can be extremely frustrating.
Think of it as playing against a team with a stingy defense. No matter what you do, they shut you down. So just forfeit. Drop the ball onto the field and walk away. There are plenty of opponents out there, many of whom play a much looser defense. Find one. You’ll be glad you did. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
