What’s Nietzsche got to do with it?
Dear Dale:
You’re quite the nihilist. Are you familiar with the works of Friedrich Nietzsche?
Signed,
God is dead
Dear GID:
Unfortunately, yes. I accidentally read a comic based on one of his books. Something about Superman. Thought it would be about superheroes. Kept expecting the Man of Steel to show up but he didn’t. Lex Luthor, Clark Kent, Lois Lane… none of them. Hell, I would’ve been satisfied with Jimmy Olsen.
So I checked the cover. The author was some guy with a big mustache named Freddy Nichy.
Oh, I thought, the guy from Queen.
Naturally, I was disappointed but then I thought: there’s bound to be lots of drinking and drugs and wild sex with groupies.
(Didn’t know he was gay. I mean, how would you? Just because he had a mustache, wore tight pants and jumped around like one of the Village People. Innocent days, those were.)
But no, all I got was some German guy sitting at his desk thinking deep thoughts.
So I checked the publisher: Classic Comics. Turned out to be an illustrated version of an old philosophy book. They do that. Take boring old books and turn them into comics so kids will read them.
What a dirty trick. A guy opens a comic expecting to see superheroes and big-breasted chicks in tight clothes and gets literature instead? Bummer.
Just like drugs. Bought some weed from a guy once. Way back in high school. Told me it was killer stuff. One toke and I’d go crazy. Sounded good to me.
Turned out to be oregano. Smoked half the bag before I realized. At least it made me dizzy. Thought I was going to throw up. Almost as good as drinking.
As for the comic… didn’t get much out of it. Just that it’s better to get drunk than go to church. Hell, I knew that in elementary school.
That and you shouldn’t listen to what people say. Just make it up yourself. Good advice, really. There’s a lot of nonsense out there.
But you got to hand it to the guy: he’s certainly influential. You can’t go to a college bar without hearing some prick quote him. Undergraduates, usually.
He’s big in Europe too. Especially Germany. Had quite the following there. Too bad most of them turned out to be Nazis.
As for the guy himself… heard he had sex with a whore and went crazy. Can’t relate to that. I’ve slept with dozens of prostitutes and it’s always been good.
That’s the thing about eggheads. Always telling us what to do but most of the time, their own lives are shit. Makes you want to grab them by the collar and shout: “Shut the fuck up! Put a dollar down or get away from the pool table.”
So give your brain a break. Close that book, take off your glasses and get drunk with some real people. You know, the sort that talk without thinking. About sports and TV and other shit that doesn’t matter. People like me, say. You’ll be glad you did. Because we’re good company. Who knows? You might even get laid. Just don’t mention Nietzsche. Ever again. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
