Who needs free speech?
Dear Dale:
I keep hearing about something called cancel culture. I thought they were talking about TV at first which worried me because there are a lot of shows I like and would really hate to see go off the air. Turns out it’s not. Turns out it’s just free speech. What a relief! Because I don’t need that. Who does?
Signed,
Most people talk too much anyway
Dear MPTTMA:
I couldn’t disagree more. Free speech is the foundation of our country. Every American, regardless of race, creed or colour, has the right to get up and say the stupidest, most ignorant thing he can think of. It’s what makes us great.
Same thing with beliefs. If I want to think that Jesus is a shape-shifting lizard from the planet Sargus, that’s my right. That I have no evidence to back it up is irrelevant. As Dubya would say: I answer to a higher authority than facts.
A lot of people put Dubya down but we Americans have a long history of ignoring reality. You think George Washington checked the Farmer’s Almanac before crossing the Delaware Christmas Eve to attack the British?
Hell no. He knew he’d freeze his balls off. Common sense told him to stay home, drink a tankard of ale and play Hide-The-Salami with Mrs. Washington.
But he didn’t. And why? Because he was an American, that’s why. And that’s what we do. Whatever the fuck we want. Even if it does get us killed.
(Just imagine what would’ve happened if he hadn’t. We’d all be Canadian. And there’s no fate worse than that.)
But, thanks to political correctness, that may be coming to an end. It’s gotten so bad you can’t call a woman a cunt, a legless person a cripple or a black guy Sambo. Not even as a joke. Not even at work.
Online too. Used to be the net was a fun place, an open door to the universe where you could connect with all kinds of bad dudes to buy drugs, sell guns or watch deviant porn.
But now that the tech lords who control it have given up their principles and gotten into bed with the government, that door is slamming shut, trapping us in the sterile silo of social media.
(Like The Matrix, but with cat videos.)
Fortunately, there is a way out: face-to-face encounters.
(Remember those?)
Because, no matter how bad it gets, there’ll always be a place where you can go to tell a dirty joke, make a racial slur or shoot your mouth off about things you know nothing about: the dive bar.
It’s the last refuge of freedom, the only place left where truth means nothing, you can argue against the obvious and volume is more important than facts.
(As it should be: let the loudest idiot win.)
So next time you feel the need to tell a racist joke, air a conspiracy theory or rail at the government, come down to The Drunken Skunk. You’ll be glad you did. Because I’ll be there, waiting for you, and no one, absolutely no one, can stop me from saying something stupid. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
