Why are people so easily offended?
Dear Dale:
My girlfriend read your piece about saying congratulations at weddings. She thought it was going to be something nice about the history of the custom but according to her it’s just a misogynist rant about how evil women are and how men get totally screwed in the divorce. Told me she’d never been so offended.
So I read it. Made perfect sense to me. Funny too. Told my girlfriend that. She got really upset. Told me I was a sexist pig who didn’t deserve a woman like her.
Well, maybe. But it still seems to me people are a bit too touchy these days. You tell a joke and they act like you’re Hitler. Why are people so easily offended?
Signed,
Politically incorrect
Dear PI:
I couldn’t agree more. I’m all for helping the disadvantaged, especially if they’re young and hot, but when I turn on the TV and hear that some guy has been fired for looking down a woman’s dress, I throw up my hands in disgust.
I mean, really. If you walk around with your tits half hanging out, guys are going to look. Stare, even. So why do they tempt us like that?
Personally, I think they’re trying to have it both ways: to be valued as sex objects — the principal source of their power — and respected as professionals. As doctors and lawyers and shit like that. Chicks think they can dress up as sexy as a stripper, go to a business meeting and still be listened to.
But men’s brains don’t work that way. We can’t hold two opposing ideas in our head: you’re either a hottie, in which case we drool over you, or a dog, in which case we’ll treat you like an equal. Well, not exactly an equal. But you know what I mean: like a dude, someone we don’t want to fuck.
May seem unfair but that’s just the way evolution made us. A result of thousands of years of hunting and a laser-like focus on the prey. Any guy who starts thinking about other things while hunting is probably going to lose track of the animal and then it’s nothing but berries and bark for dinner. Who needs that?
(It’s also why we can’t talk to women while watching sports.)
But, to be fair, it’s not just chicks. People are touchy about everything now. Race, disability, sexual orientation… you can’t joke about anything anymore.
Because if you do, odds are, someone will be offended. And then you’ll have to have a meeting with some pencil-necked geek from HR who asks you why you put a trowel in your pants and made pelvic thrusting motions against the bent-over butt of a co-worker.
(Well, why wouldn’t I? The other guys thought it was hilarious. That some passing broad happened to see it and be offended was just unfortunate.)
And so you end up suspended. As well as have to go to sensitivity training, where you learn about all the grievances people have against society and how it’s on you to make sure they’re not in any way reminded of them.
Hard to believe it’s come to this. Especially here in America. We have the world’s best military. Can kick the ass of any country in the world. Or, at least, make it totally unhabitable. But someone tells a dirty joke and everyone ducks under their desk. It’s revenge of the snowflakes, tyranny of the timid.
Which is a real shame. Especially when you consider what we used to be: one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all, free to insult people of all creeds and colors, sexual orientation and disability, funny accents or just strange-smelling food. What would America be without the Polish joke, the anti-Semitic slur or even the N-word? Boring, that’s what.
So don’t listen to your girlfriend.
(You probably never did. Why would you?)
Because we don’t need any language police.
(There are too many cops already.)
All you need is a bit of common sense. Like, if you’re sitting next to a cripple, don’t make a frog’s legs joke. Not while he’s sitting there anyway. No, wait till someone wheels him away and then tell it.
So next time you feel the urge to make a colorful comment… look around you. Make sure there aren’t any cripples, chicks or lesser breeds within earshot. You’ll be glad you did. Because, if you’re going to make fun of someone, it’s always best to do it behind their back. It’s just good manners. Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Dale
Hi. If you’ve made it this far, you probably liked the story. So why not check out some others at my Medium page? https://medium.com/dear-dale
