Modern dating can be a nightmare but doesn’t have to be
How men should approach the “talking stage” and avoid getting burned or wasted time
It’s not only the ladies who have nightmare dates
Her pretty face and great body should be the least of what you focus on.
Dear Nephew,
A while back we talked about this new phase in your life where pretty girls have become a sight you are now hyper aware of and cant un-see.
Sometimes you and your friends become speechless with a beautiful young lady. Do stupid things to get her attention and make an impression.
You’ll soon discover things like Hot Girl/Pretty Privilege, where the best looking girls in school get celebrity treatment.
It’s a remarkable thing about human nature and how some things never change about culture.
You’ll have to learn to search for more beyond physical attraction.
This has to be intentional and conscious or your emotions and hormones will keep you on autopilot.
Like everything in life there are exceptions to the rule but don’t live your life by exceptions. Remarkably attractive girls who don’t use their pretty privilege are unicorns.
Some girls with pretty privilege live a coddled life, rarely denied of anything.
Every guy laughs at her bad jokes and she’s never corrected when she’s in the wrong.
She’s rescued from the consequences of bad decisions by suitors, simps, white knights and men with a saviour complex.
At some point she’s develops a god complex and want to punish anyone who doesn’t kiss the ring or dares to tell her she’s wrong.
It’s a cross between a mafia boss, a military dictator in the body of a Disney Princess.
Most girls/women with pretty privilege think rules don’t apply to them or apply less especially in a romantic relationship.
“Rules for thee but not for me”.
Most pretty privilege girls will hold you to high standards but have no expectations of being held to those same standards, or any standards.
“you are not allowed to have female friends, but i can keep all my male friends and if you complain, you’re insecure”
This scene from THE MATRIX(1999) articulates it well
“You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously, you are mistaken”
PRINCESS SYNDROME
There’s nothing inherently wrong with a girl raised to think of herself as a Princess
IF she sees the man in her life as a King.
The problem lies when she regards him as one of her many subjects who exist to cater to her.
Her belief is that her presence in your life is a gift and privilege, like the Holy Spirit or the Ark of the Covenant, which you should show eternal gratitude.
Treat the women you interact with civility and decency because that is who you are and how to treat a fellow human.
This is different from trying to be “nice” which is a quick way to get taken advantage and manipulated.
But never put any girl/woman on a pedestal.
When you put anyone on a pedestal you put them in a place to look down to see you.
No matter how beautiful, sexy or popular, don’t idolise her. No matter what R&B songs say she’s not a goddess or an angel.
She’s flesh and blood who farts and has morning breath like anyone else.
DO NOT IDEALISE HER
I know it’s not easy.
It’s never easy. It’s easier to give in to the natural weed your brain is supplying whenever you are around her.
We seem to lose all critical and long term thinking once we are around a girl we like and want to impress, especially when she’s stunning to look at.
Resist the hormonal drives and instincts and see beyond her looks.
Beneath the makeup, hair and pretty smile is another human being.
Esther Villar, author of The Manipulated Man, writes
“Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman’s vagina.
TRIVIA: Villar received a lot of hate mail and death threats from women when the book came out. When some women recognised her in a pub, they followed her into the bathroom and assaulted her.
A LITTLE (MORE) CONVERSATION — MORE THAN A PRETTY FACE?
Your conversation on dates and outings is to engage Human to Human and verify if there’s anything captivating about her beyond her physical attractiveness.
Find out if outside of romance and attraction can you form a friendship with her?
Is she funny, interesting, insightful, profound, have interesting hobbies or talents?
Does she take herself too serious? Fragile ego. god complex.
Can she admit when she’s wrong or deflects, points fingers? ACCOUNTABILITY is critical in choice of a partner.
Can she have a conversation about both the mundane and the profound.
If her looks change or disappear is there more to her you enjoy or the appeal is gone?
You may not end up in a romantic relationship but as good friends, acquaintances, a new person in your network with a role to play in your life.
Don’t put yourself under pressure to speak perfectly.
Be polite but not so polite that you come off as desperate for approval.
Answer some questions indirectly, playfully misinterpret something she said and tease her about it. Make conversations fun, not formal.
You shouldn’t play defence to her questions. Its not an interogation.
Feel free to disagree and not change your answer if she doesn’t like a movie, song or sport you like.
Practise independent confidence:
Your confidence should not be dependent on whether people like you or respond well to you.
You like yourself regardless.
Not cocky or obnoxious but your self acceptance is not up to anyone external to you.
“The only way to be truly confident is to simply become comfortable with what you lack.” — Mark Manson
Learn to have a healthy relationship with yourself, not dependent on the acceptance, approval or rejection of a woman (or anyone else)
Humans are fickle and can be cruel, in a bad mood, transferring aggression from something else.
If you live for their approval you will drown in their rejection.
Why should you be at the mercy of someone else’s volatile emotions?
That’s like putting your retirement fund in shit coins and cryptocurrency, crossing your fingers and chanting “Hail Mary”.
Shad Helmstetter, author of What you say when you talk to yourself, wrote
“How successful you will be at anything is inexorably tied directly to the words and beliefs about yourself that you have stored in your subconscious mind.”-
Make smart choices kiddo
Till next time
Your Uncle
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