How to avoid being an ATM/Credit Card, for the entitled and greedy around you

Olu Yomi Ososanya
Dear Nephew
Published in
3 min readMay 24, 2024

Never get yourself involved in someone else’s debt

Dear Nephew

Here is something mind blowing about human nature which has not changed in thousands of years.

Crappy friends and family are revealed when it comes to MONEY.

Recorded in the book of Proverbs, written over 2000 years ago humans have not changed much and all it says about money and debt applies today as much as when the ink was fresh.

1 My son, if you have put up security for your neighbour, if you have struck hands in pledge with a stranger, 2 if you have been trapped by the words of your lips,

ensnared by the words of your mouth, 3 then do this, my son, to free yourself,

for you have fallen into your neighbour’s hands: Go, humble yourself,a and press your plea with your neighbour. 4 Allow no sleep to your eyes or slumber to your eyelids. 5 Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter,b like a bird from the snare of the fowler.Proverbs 6:1–5

Don’t go into debt for ANYONE.

Don’t cosign a loan or stand as surety for anyone.

There’s the temptation as a man to want to provide for a woman he’s dating and help her out with her finances, ease her financial pressure, student loans and other issues.

The propaganda of a man paying the bills and taking on the debt of a woman he’s in a relationship with is detrimental to men.

Many men pay loans for women who then leave them once it’s cleared.

Some men take on the debt of the woman he is dating, like a car note, student loan or credit card debt and are legally stuck paying it off long after the relationship is over.

You can help out if you desire under no pressure or manipulation from her or anyone else.

It’s not your responsibility to rescue another adult from bad financial decisions, especially consumer debt.

That’s already a red flag to be addressed.

Any help you give should be your choice not out of guilt.

It’s a tough situation, especially with someone you are emotionally attached to; family member, friend, a love interest.

You don’t want to say no and create tension or discord with them.

You don’t like seeing them in financial distress, facing the risk of losing their car, home, and their kids sent out of school.

Those are valid concerns.

Help out if they don’t have a track record of coming for handouts like you are a human ATM.

Doing this enables entitlement and bad behaviour.

Humans reveal a side you’d never see when money is concerned.

That same friend who came in tears asking for a loan in time of need.

When it’s time to repay, become indifferent and even arrogant.

They may not pick up your calls or messages and tell people you are harassing them over a small amount.

Best bet is not to loan money to friends or family. Help out with an amount you can forget and won’t miss.

Let them know this is one off for the sake of your friendship.

In The Godfather, Michael Corleone said it best,

Friends and Money? Oil and water”.

Many men die before time because they take on the financial pressure of other people.

They allow friends and family to burden them with ENTITLED financial demands and expectations.

So they burn the candle on both ends, live with anxiety, depression and collapse under the mental and cardiac burden.

Choose wisely

Till next time

If you like this entry in the #DearNephew series or know a young man who would benefit from them, please share and consider subscribing. Thanks

SUPPORT DEAR NEPHEW

--

--

Olu Yomi Ososanya
Dear Nephew

Writing: the #DearNephew Letters to our young men. Focusing on Dignity, Accountability, Self optimisation & improvement