MEN, STOP DATING TILL YOU SECURE THIS ONE THING
1 thing men MUST choose to avoid chaos, frustration & disrespect in romantic relationships
Never compromise this for ANY relationship
Send away broke-shamers with egg on their face and their tail between their legs, without ever descending to their level.
Dear Nephew
The world is constantly trying impose things upon you as a man. Tell you what you are worth and what your value is measure by and its easy to give in to the pressure and many times lies.
One way you can shield yourself is to build Dignity and wear it like body armour which protects you from bullet and knife attacks.
DIGNITY :Dignity is the right of a person to be valued and respected for their own sake, and to be treated ethically.
DIGNITY is:
Knowing you are not your bank account — Too much of society tells men that they are only as valuable as how much money they make, the assets they own and how much of that benefits a woman.
Broke-shaming has become common place on social-media and the dating market place. Women telling men that they useless and not worth their time if they don’t have certain amounts of money to spend on them.
While you should always aspire to better yourself in your chosen career and increase your finances and the resources to take care of a family in the future.
“You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet.- Tyler Durden
As long as you are diligent and earning honest money. Don’t let anyone succeed in making you feel bad or less for not having a certain amount of money.
You have intangible value so don’t let materialistic people reduce you to how much money you make.
Keep working smart. There’s dignity in honest labour.
Walking away from people who take you for granted
Value yourself enough to walk away from any sort of relationship where a person has repeatedly taken you for granted.
Now we all have our low moments and it’s human nature to occasionally take those closest to us for granted, its emotional demand and supply.
However there are those who repeatedly show that they don’t value your presence or your time.
When you are present for them or their event and they barely acknowledge the effort you made to show up.
They constantly flake on you. Cancel at the last minute. Don’t show up when they say they would
There are no medals for being a long suffering friend. Walk away.
Walking away from relationship that are one-sided
This is in platonic, romantic and business relationships. Those people who only want to take from you.
Those who expect you to continually pour into them but never pour into you, or think it’s they are meant to do anything from you.
They always call for favours but a full of excuses when you need one.
You show up for them physically, but they never do for you.
You are they in their low emotional moments but they aren’t even aware when you have yourself because they are too focused on themselves to notice.
It’s the friend who always asks for a loan but is unable to help you out when you needed one. He suddenly has a billion obligations and can’t spare a dime.
Its the girl monopolising your time for emotional validation and you’re always there for her. But she’s never available or present when you need a friend.
It’s the colleague who always wants to “pick your brain” but never sends any work in your direction.
Never begging for affection:
Some women like the chase more than the relationship to the point some want a guy to ask her out multiple times and receive multiple rejections before she finally says Yes.
She claims its for him to prove he’s serious and really but these it’s really about her ego.
All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:37
If you ask a woman out on a date or on a relationship and she says NO, move on.
Don’t keep pursuing her, and certainly don’t beg.
This is not about pride but dignity.
“Dignity is as essential to human life as water, food, and oxygen. The stubborn retention of it, even in the face of extreme physical hardship, can hold a man’s soul in his body long past the point at which the body should have surrendered it.” ― Laura Hillenbrand, Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption
You’ll need perseverance in a lot of things in life but asking out a woman 5 times while she uses it to brag to her friends or social media followers isn’t one of them and not a position you want to put yourself.
Even if she says Yes after the persistence.
She’ll always believe she did you a favour and will rub it in your face every chance she gets, playfully or maliciously, it doesn’t matter.
It’s not a pleasant place.
He begged me until i got tired and i finally said Yes,
Is not a love story you want told to anyone.
Respect her NO and move on.
20 to 30 years ago “playing hard to get” was a social norm in the dating dance, several singer had hits from songs about it.
In the 21st century continuing after she says NO is a quick way to be labelled a rapist or sexual harasser etc. So take it literally and respect it.
Don’t assume she’s testing you.
Even if she is, its best to be extremely cautious than risk anything else.
There are plenty of cards in the deck.
If she does not give you a verbal enthusiastic YES, keep your distance like she’s the daughter of a Mob Boss and a pistol whipping is a speed dial away.
Make smart choices Kiddo
Till Next time
Your Uncle
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