Oh Tim! Full of life and wonder!
May you remain joyous and energetic for all your days. Recently I had succumbed to the awful beckoning call of smut porn. I opened up my laptop and began my quest for the perfect graphic video of violent torturous indecency. I searched and found a video submitted to the pain Olympics but even the sight of a penis being shaved to a stump by a cheese grater left me unsatisfied. It seemed my years of self immolation had left me desensitized to violent gore. I desired something fresh and new. I opened up a new tab and pondered what novelty would grant me sweet release. I happened upon an event called the masturbate-a-thon. I think a description of this is unnecessary Tim. The juxtaposition of pleasure and ensuing discomfort excited me. It was satisfaction to the point of torment. I did not even need video, I had found the sweet spot Tim! I came almost immediately from just the thought. After orgasm the ennui hit and I craved another dose. I repeated the process this time to the idea of putting myself through the ordeal of the event. I came again and again releasing more dopamine with each rippling orgasm. Tim you know of course dopamine is necessary for many human life functions but I hadn’t a care. After each stimulation I fell into a pit of disconsolation and each time I crawled out the way I had just taught myself how. I was like a lab rat addicted, I kept hitting the lever for immediate gratification, ignoring bodily needs. I had created a positive feedback loop of pure misery. It seemed I was doomed. Even tearing the skin off my erection like a slippery banana peel did not concern me. Blood shot up and covered my face. I cursed both God and Satan. Such a wasted life Tim. I thought of what my life had amounted to, little more than a series of erotic explorations. My legacy was non-existent. No children, no spouse, I was to be forgotten in a fortnight. My life flickered and sputtered out with a weak disappointing orgasm.
Artwork by basper01
Originally published at deartimtheblog.tumblr.com.
