The Story of YOU: Meet Our Members: Adelle

Member Spotlight: “My most underrated virtue is sensitivity. As a kid, I felt like something was wrong with me because I was hyper-sensitive and now I see this as a superpower and a real gift. It allows me to pick up on things before they happen and to build strong relationships.”

Name: Adelle Rewerts

Age: 41

Lives: Winnipeg, Manitoba

Who are you? Answer that in any way that feels appropriate to you.

Describing who I am right now is a bit challenging. Between the pandemic and raising young children, it leaves little space for myself and a lot of space for anxiety and depression to cloud my perspective. But in a way, it’s also stripped away all the excess. Looking at what’s stayed constant, I see an eternally curious and creative person. My art, my parenting, my work is all focussed on navigating the human condition and harnessing my power.

When do you first remember feeling like/owning/identify as a grown ass woman?

I was 39. I had just hit my 20 year milestone in my career and was feeling a bit disillusioned about everything. How was I still dealing with the same BS after all this time? How can I progress? What do the next 20 years look like? It was really weird for me, because this milestone came just as I was leaning out of my career to give birth to my second child. And when she decided to make her debut, it all happened so quickly that there was no time to think or get any assistance. I just had to draw on everything I had inside and lean in to the worst pain of my life. I felt like I drew my strength from every woman that came before me. Unlike my first experience, I felt empowered and connected to the divine feminine. (Which is not nearly as poetic as it sounds in reality. It’s messy and painful and makes you realize that even The Rock would cry and we all under appreciate our mothers.) And then this perfect chunky little baby was in my hands, and I just didn’t have any more fucks to give about anything else besides my family. Not to someone else’s body standards. Not to their limits to my potential. Not to their ideas of success. Definitely not to anymore male egos. And now I’m just trying to live up to that.

What has been the biggest *aha* moment you’ve had being a part of the DGAW™ community?

This community has a wealth of experience and there is no power structure which allows the women here to show up as themselves, with varied backgrounds and experiences. They’re generous with their support and vulnerability and that’s very special. The first time I dared to join a DGAW weekly gathering, I was so nervous and everyone was just so kind and welcoming. It was like “You showed up? Boom! You belong.”

When do you feel most yourself?

When I’m quiet. When I’m in flow. When I’m laughing really hard. In those precious moments between sleep and full waking up. Heart to heart conversation. Lost in a painting. Moving with joy. Intuition rising. Great sex. ;) Basically, when there’s no room for my brain to get in the way.

What is your current state of mind?

I’m ending a year 9, numerologically speaking, so I’m in this place of letting stuff go. Physical things and spiritual things. And it’s also this weird waiting place. Making room for what’s next and listening intently to my heart.

You know, as I acknowledge and try to ignore the anxiety of the present world.

What do you consider the most underrated virtue?

Lately? Tact. Some sort of thought to the context you’re bringing your voice to, whether it’s needed, and the impact it might have on other people. And then… realizing it’s ok to be quiet if your voice isn’t needed.

My personal most underrated virtue is sensitivity. As a kid, I felt like something was wrong with me because I was hyper-sensitive and now I see this as a superpower and a real gift. It allows me to pick up on things before they happen and to build strong relationships.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

My greatest achievement was overcoming crippling depression and gaining a greater sense of consciousness in the process.

What is your greatest fear?

I worry that I’ll fail my kids. I worry that I’ve focused my energy on the wrong things. I end up in decision paralysis because there are so many things I care about and every choice feels like a sacrifice when time and energy are in short supply.

What do you want to learn from a community of your peers?

I joined this community, specifically, to connect with other mid-career women, but there’s so much more to this phase of life and I’ve discovered many more perspectives and connections that bind us. So many women in this community are carrying heavy life shit and handling it gracefully with the maturity to deal with things as they come. It’s really very inspiring to be a part of.

If you could share only one life lesson, what would it be?

First lesson; “whatever is meant for me will not pass me by.” I [try] to consistently remember that and focus on acceptance and surrendering to each moment without judgement.

But the biggest lesson I’m trying to learn and to pass on to my girls is that they (and I) are enough. They don’t have to earn their place on the planet. They are here, they belong, they are loved. It seems to me that all of the hurt and dis-ease flow from this part of us being injured, but people with a strong grounding and a filled bucket have an inner strength and confidence that do more for themselves and the planet than anything else. I’ve been so fortunate to find a life partner that is an example of this.

Anything else you’d like to share or like us to know?

I’m pretty private. (Which may be hard to believe for someone so chatty.) But sometimes I’m so private that I’m afraid to admit the things I enjoy or want even to myself. For instance, I’ve always wanted a family and a husband, and yet for a long time, I was too ashamed to simply admit that. I grew up feeling like I was wrong, or not in step with the world, and then being a creative woman in tech felt like I had to change who I was to be accepted at work. It can feel like we’re not allowed to tap into our own femininity or authenticity in certain ways without being judged harshly by others [and maybe by ourselves, too.] I had to spend a lot of time learning to listen to, trust, and love myself.

Getting to this point in my life has not been easy, nor has it been as hard as other people have had it. But I’m here. I’ve always wanted to be at the point in my life, and I’m going to make the most of it. I’m realizing that what that meant to me at 20 and what that means to me at 41 are very different and the challenges are different than I thought they would be, too. I mean, who would’ve thought that physically producing serotonin would be a major issue? An unexpected challenge to consider the work of creating joy, and yet, what a beautiful mission to have.

Thank you, Adelle, for sharing your story with Dear Grown Ass Women™ and letting us get to know you.

To learn more and join our incredible global community of women over the age of 35 in our Dear Grown Ass Women™, head over to our site. We look forward to meeting you on the inside!