The Story of YOU: Meet Our Members: Jennifer

Member Spotlight: “I’d like to talk more about disability and how disabled people need to be in positions of leadership.”

Name: Jennifer Brown

Location: Baltimore, MD

Age: 37

When do you first remember realizing and owning the fact you were a grown-ass-woman?

The first few times I had to advocate for my partner in the hospital. Suddenly doing the hospital without family support made it really clear that I was an adult.

What about your life has changed with your health and how did you deal with the shift?

I have a kidney disease, I am Deaf, and I have complex PTSD as well as an undiagnosed pain disorder. As far as my chronic illness, I’ve had it as long as I’ve been alive so it’s just a part of who I am. My deafness is something that I grew up feeling halfway connected to because I came from a community and a family that, for the most part, didn’t use sign language. I did sign, and to some extent, most of my friends signed as I lost more hearing and needed more support.

When I married a Deaf man, I became a lot more comfortable with that aspect of my life and it has become a defining characteristic. As for the c-PTSD, over the last two or three years, I’ve really struggled to deal with it. It’s something that my service dog is trained to mitigate. I’ve been in therapy, and in February I finally started trying various medications.

Due to your health, you have had to teach fewer fitness/yoga classes and spend more time at home. Since many of us are spending more time at home (due to COVID-19) what advice do you have to help others make the time fulfilling and fun?

I will say that there’s an aspect of acceptance that needs to happen; life isn’t always fulfilling or fun. As someone who has a lot of things blocking me from doing everything I’d like to, I’ve had to come to terms with that. My goal is to always make a shortlist of simple tasks I can do each day and check them off to help me feel accomplished. Depending on the day, the task may be as small as brushing my hair and teeth and moving from the bed to the sofa. On better days, I do things that bring me great joy: go on long walks, do gentle or restorative yoga classes, draw a little bit, or read a science fiction book to escape the real world for a little bit. Sometimes I will throw in a load of laundry to keep up with the household maintenance that needs to happen.

What are the ways you continue to “move” and connect with your body while honoring where your body is that day?

Moving for me starts with the breath and making a concentrated effort to engage my breath fully. Because I live in a state of anxiety, that means that I often don’t remember to breathe all the way down into the bottom of my belly. On better days, I make an attempt to go outside and walk. Almost every day includes walking the dogs — but the distance varies greatly. On the best of days, I do things like power vinyasa classes or sculpt yoga with weights.

What are some of the challenges you experience in life that we should be aware of?

Nearly one million people who are deaf use American Sign Language (ASL) to communicate. 47% of deaf people are not in the workforce due to employment discrimination while over 28 million people with hearing loss live in the United States. I am one of those people who is not employed and has not been in the workforce for eight to ten years, in spite of a stint teaching yoga. That teaching position ended when, surprise, my employer discriminated against me and fired me because I could not learn to speak loud enough to teach without a microphone. After eight months, they were not willing to accommodate me anymore.

Accommodations and accessibility are a constant problem in all areas of life, not just the workforce. Disabled people often cannot fight for access due to a lack of financial, physical, or emotional bandwidth. Because we do not matter enough in the general population to make a significant change (especially when you’re talking about capitalism) we need allies with means, privilege, and social capital to fight for us to have the access we need and deserve.

Being a member of a community of mostly abled-bodied women, what do you want to see more of?

I’d like to talk more about disability and how disabled people need to be in positions of leadership in a lot more places than they are currently. For example, did you know that almost all disability organizations are run and led by non-disabled people? Many deaf organizations are led by hearing parents, audiologists, and speech therapists while actual Deaf adults are treated absolutely horribly when they try to speak up. I know a lot of Deaf linguistics who struggle to be published because science prefers biased studies by hearing linguistics.

You have mentioned there is so much wisdom you have gained from the disabled community as well has learned helpful lessons. What are some you’d like to share?

There is so much to this question, I have a whole series on Medium about it: https://medium.com/@mindfulcat

I learned about ableism, that it is a system of violence against disabled bodies and minds. I learned about healthism (not a typo), and all kinds of crip hacks. An example of some hacks are: using laundry soap to wash the tub (pour in a half capful, fill a tub with water, soak until the bubbles dissolve and wipe clean), and using a weighted blanket helped me sleep after my service dog died and I no longer had his comforting weight on my legs every night.

If you could travel anywhere today, where would you go?

The mountains, preferably the Rocky Mountains. I always feel most at home in the mountains of Colorado near Vail or Glenwood Springs where I know the trails and the valleys like the back of my hand. I feel most myself when I’m out in the mountains hiking or sitting on a rock and writing and thinking.

If you could meet anyone, who would you want to meet?

There are a lot of AMAZING disability activists who live not that far from me. I just struggle a lot with getting out and going to events or meeting new people because of my mental health. I would want to meet Imani Barbarin of Crutches_and_Spice, Rebecca Cokley, Judy Heumann, Keah Brown, Isabella Foxen-Duke. I wish I had the opportunity to meet Carrie Ann Lucas before she died. She made a huge impact in the town my parents live in now and she died because her insurance refused to pay for treatment for an infection.

What was the last thing you looked up on the internet?

Actual statistics of deaf unemployed people because I’m good at generalities and ranges (and keeping dates in order) but not good at the numbers themselves.

If you could live a day in the life of someone, who would it be?

I am surprisingly quite good with my life. I just wish I could do some of the things I loved in my past. I used to work for Legal Aid while I was getting my paralegal degree and I LOVED the work.

What is your “superpower”?

I am stubborn and principled, but my superpower is the way I can patiently work to explain or support someone even when I am passionate about the topic.

Who is your favorite villain?

Elphaba from Wicked even though ‘technically’ she wasn’t a villain. I love musical theatre and it’s one of the things that my Deaf partner thinks is hilarious because obviously, we can’t hear. When we’re lucky we can find a really great showing with ASL interpreters.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

As someone who will always be in recovery from an eating disorder, there isn’t a good way for me to answer this question. For me, restricting food is a dangerous slippery slope. During this quarantine, I am all about cooking a wide variety of things and finding a way to be kind to myself when I’m too tired to cook.

Pick one: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

I love breakfast foods. I love eggs and potatoes in all kinds of savory breakfast applications. I especially love potato chips almost over anything.

If you could bring only three items on a desert island with you, what would the items be? (No electricity/internet is available.)

A way to get library books- maybe by plane? All the sunblock I could ever want, because nobody needs skin cancer. And my blow up hot tub. (That last one actually requires electricity, but I’m sure we could find a hot tub that uses fire instead.)

You are stranded on a desert island with three people you don’t know, who would you want to be stranded with you?

Lin Manuel Miranda, Imani Barbarin, and Elsa Sjunneson because between the four of us I bet we could make a really awesome disability-focused musical.

What is a life lesson you have learned that has really shaped who you are today?

I have learned a lot from Cyndie, actually! Things like You are not for everyone. And Stop Apologizing.

What is your favorite piece of clothing to wear?

I love to wear dresses. My favorites dresses are from Loft’s Lou & Grey line because they’re extra soft.

If you could wave a magic wand and something changes with you or the world, what would you change?

I would make accessibility an enforced priority in ALL situations.

If you got $100 today how would you spend it?

I would spend it with a disabled person I know who sews Service Dog vests and patches, and I would get a pretty new kit for my puppy.

Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing your story with Dear Grown Ass Women™ and letting us get to know you.

To learn more and join our incredible global community of women over the age of 35 in our Dear Grown Ass Women™, head over to our site. We look forward to meeting you on the inside!