The Story of YOU: Meet Our Members: Samantha
Member Spotlight: What other people think about you is really none of your business. I spent so long trying to control what others would say or think of me, until I realized that they are going to say and think what they wanted, and I shouldn’t concern myself with any of it. There is real freedom in living on your own terms.
Name: Samantha Pitre Quillen
Age: 43
Lives In: Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Who are you? Answer that in any way that feels appropriate to you.
I am a strong, daring, resilient wife to Curt, fur-mommy to Shakespeare, bubbling ball of intersectionality, a Career Coach, DEI consultant, and the Founder of Creating Miss Jones. I am deeply committed to helping women claim their seats at the table because they’ve earned them.
So, you’re a rare bird for New York considering that many people often move to the city from other places. But you are a life-long Brooklynite; tell us about that.
I have lived in Brooklyn since I was 4. I was born in Taiwan, my father worked there and we came to Fort Greene. When I decided to leave Syracuse, NY, after being there I came back to Brooklyn. I convinced my hubby to stay in BK after we got married.
I want to acknowledge my privilege in my Brooklyn experience. I learned about generational wealth from a young age; my single mom was a homeowner in Brooklyn when the neighborhood was very different than it is today. Now, my brother and I each own houses in Brooklyn and live very close to one another. This isn’t the norm but I am incredibly grateful. And because I’ve seen our neighborhood change so much over the years; I’m hyper-aware of how folks (just like me) who are flush with cash and stable jobs can go around the country wreaking havoc on working class neighborhoods and families. The implications of this are very serious for America.
What makes you deeply happy?
Being a part of watching someone realize that they are exactly who they need to be to accomplish their highest goals.
What makes you angry?
The blatant disregard and disrespect for another’s humanity. As a life-long Brooklynite, I see it in culture and race relations, our treatment of homeless individuals, and gentrification. The pandemic seems to have highlighted it even more for me now.
My Go-To books
For business: Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi, it focuses on the importance of cultivating a network and maximizing your access in business.
Personally, my two favorites are Their Eyes Are Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, it reminds me of the shoulders that I stand upon. Also, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, it reminds me of what freedom really means.
My Go-To Resource
GOD and my faith: God is my place to rest and this is a relationship that has evolved over time. I grew up in a fairly religious home with my Black southern Baptist grandmother nearby was always talking about the Bible and Jesus as she knew him, but when I went off to college,* my own relationship with faith was reignited in a way that was very personal. My mother always taught me to make my own choices around faith and by the time I got to college, I knew that I needed to connect with God in my own way; and I have ever since.
- Agnes Scott College, which is a private women’s college in Atlanta.
What are some of your life rituals?
My birthday is a National holiday. I plan every Sunday with a playlist that fits my mood, with a candle, and a cup of coffee.
I write down 10 ideas and 10 things I am grateful for everyday.
What’s been the most valuable skill that you’ve developed thus far?
Hearing the question behind the question. When you learn to hear only not the question, but the reason the question was asked in the first place, you are able to determine a person’s fears, point of view, and understand their interests. This will allow you to not only provide them with the answer to their question, but also to provide context that allows you to better relate to them.
What is your greatest challenge at the moment?
Being an entrepreneur. I launched my coaching practice full time in August 2019, and I was unaware of how much I didn’t know; marketing funnels, content creation, video editing, you name it and I am learning it.
What has been the biggest *aha* moment you’ve had being a part of the DGAW™ community?
I realized that none of us is doing anything alone, we are all leveraging our tribes and community in some fashion. Some of us are getting book recommendations and others of us are getting encouragement when we want to give up, and because you don’t know who needs what; say or share that interesting article, cheer that post or comment even when you are unsure if anyone cares.Someone might need you that day.
My other aha moment is that I am not the only one scared. I see so many women in this community, who are doing it, not without fear but in spite of their fear. That is such a powerful example.
What do you carry with you at all times?
My Passion Planner, and a pen, because I find I remember it better when I write it down.
Also, lipstick and mascara because no matter who you are; lipstick and mascara instantly pull you together.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I have so many because I am committed to creating a life where I can afford my imagination. I realize that there is a woman buried every day who was saving her pearls for a special occasion, but never thought that Tuesday was special enough, so I make every day extravagant. If I must choose, it’s good coffee and Bond 9 perfume.
If you could share only one life lesson, what would it be?
What other people think about you is really none of your business. I spent so long trying to control what others would say or think of me, until I realized that they are going to say and think what they wanted, and I shouldn’t concern myself with any of it. There is real freedom in living on your own terms.
Anything else you’d like to share or like us to know?
You have to advocate for you and trust when you know something is wrong. I was 24 years old when I was diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and I quickly learned the importance of self-advocacy first-hand.
Whether it is at work, for your health or in your relationships, no one is ever going to care about you until you care about yourself. You know who you are, what you need and don’t allow anyone to make you think you can’t (or shouldn’t) trust yourself.
Thank you, Samantha, for sharing your story with Dear Grown Ass Women™ and letting us get to know you.
To learn more and join our incredible global community of women over the age of 35 in our Dear Grown Ass Women™, head over to our site. We look forward to meeting you on the inside!
