The Story of You: Meet our Members: Teresa
Member Spotlight: “When we bring our full selves to the table, we can literally heal the world.”
Name: Teresa Casale
Age: 38
Located: Orange County, California
Tell us about the big life changes you’ve had recently.
The big thing was that I moved from Washington DC to Orange County, California in August of last year due to a caregiving situation at home. My dad and my brother are both ill and my mom’s taken care of them, plus my grandmother, full time for about 10 years; it was time to come home.
What kind of work were you doing in D.C.?
I worked as a policy advocate on issues of global women’s rights and empowerment at the International Center for Research on Women. ICRW is a global research facility that was founded to build the evidence base for what truly works to improve the lives of women and girls. We focused on issues such as women’s economic empowerment, gender-based violence, ending child marriage, women, peace, and security, etc. My boss, colleagues and I would take the evidence the researchers gathered to Congress, the White House, the UN, the World Bank, lots of different decision-making bodies and advocate for policymaking based on the evidence.
The area I specialize in is global policy agenda called women, peace, and security, which focuses on how women are affected by conflict and war and how they can (and DO) affect peace. Studies have shown when women are meaningfully involved in building and negotiating peace, agreements are 35% more likely to be successful (International Peace Institute). When women’s groups are involved in making peace, agreements are up to 63% more successful! (International Interactions). My job was to get the evidence into the hands of policymakers so that they can work with governments (including our own) to engage and empower women when it comes to building peace.
When I first came to DC I started my career in humanitarian assistance and refugee policy. As I dove into those issues over time, I saw how disproportionately women and girls are affected by the most pressing challenges in the world. Women are more likely to be poor, more likely to be forcibly displaced, women do huge amounts of unpaid labor, women are 14 times more likely to die in a natural disaster, etc. This pissed me off! I became a raging feminist and decided I have to do something about this, so here I am!
What is one of the biggest lessons you have learned in your work?
I’ve realized there really isn’t as much as we think separating the challenges women face in the United States, and globally. Because of our privilege, and because there are distinct differences, of course, it’s easy to say, “over there they have it so much harder; the issues they face are nothing like the issues we face ‘’. However, there are certain universal challenges about being a woman. Patriarchy is patriarchy no matter where you are. I have seen the magic of women, when we gather in groups to achieve a mission, we can literally heal the world. This too is universal. Pre 2016, I had this dichotomy in my head of, “over there (countries outside the US) have it really rough, we don’t have problems like that in the US and shouldn’t complain”. But again, patriarchy is patriarchy.
What is the most fulfilling aspect of your work?
I don’t know if I have an answer to that right now because it’s in so much flux. The most fulfilling aspect I think, is being able to make real connections with policymakers who are affecting people’s lives. Seeing the light bulb go on, and then witnessing real policy change. I’ve seen it a couple of times, and it’s glorious. It’s nice to feel like you’re making a difference with the things that you care the most about.
What’s one thing you think the women of our community should know about your line of work?
When women are organized, present, and meaningfully included in the most difficult and important decisions that are made in society, the decisions made are better for everyone; not just women, but for the world. It should change the way we think about ourselves and how we own our power. The biggest thing I want women everywhere to know is how inherently powerful we are. There’s this magic that happens from being together with other women and accomplishing things.
What gets in the way and keeps women around the world from owning their power?
We, as women, have internalized oppression because of patriarchy, negative stereotypes and millennia of oppression. That oppression tells us we don’t make a difference and we’re not intrinsically powerful. But that’s what oppression does, it takes space and power away from women (and other targeted identities) at the societal levels. So sometimes we believe it about ourselves — that as individuals and as women — we’re not powerful. In reality, it’s actually the opposite: when we bring our full selves to the table, we can literally heal the world.
What is something you are doing for yourself?
I’m actually in a class to unlearn internalized oppression. It’s called self-awareness for social justice, taught by the brilliant Dr. Tee Williams. I’m still unlearning so many patterns that have kept me playing small. You know, like being expected to be brilliant, but not necessarily allowed to think that you’re brilliant. I’m really struggling to unlearn that one, and to show up owning my brilliance, standing in my own power
What is your mission?
I have this mission to inform women about how powerful they are, but also understanding that’s actually kind of hard. It’s kind of a hard message to understand fully. I’m talking the knowing in our bodies: an intrinsic understanding and awareness of our own power and brilliance. I love how society is going in that direction, putting messages about that on pillows, bumper stickers and Instagram memes, and every mural on the wall in the fancy coffee shop. We’re getting all these reminders of how awesome we are, but it’s still hard to truly internalize it. That’s where we need deep healing It’s a journey.
What is the biggest challenge of moving home?
Community is a challenge. I’m not doing a whole lot to create a community for myself because I’m not entirely sure where to look. I knew I was going to need something online that would be extremely flexible, that’s one of the main reasons I joined Dear Grown Ass Women™. I joined another online community which is specifically for Latina women. I am exploring, creating, and reclaiming my Latina identity right now.
Family is my built-in community right now and all the tricks and challenges that come with that. I’m coming back to my roots. It’s really interesting to create a new life in an old place. Moving back home is very loaded emotionally. You’re different, everybody else is different too, even though everything looks and feels the same; it’s interesting.
When do you first remember identifying and owning the fact that you are a grown ass woman?
Um, you know what’s funny, I thought I was a grown ass woman when I was in the eighth grade. I literally wrote in my little diary, “I’m grown up now”. I was a precocious child.
But when did I own it? I would say it was fairly recently when I found the power of my own voice at my last job. I realized that I had been speaking for other people in my career as a policy advocate. And it wasn’t until I found my own voice and realized that I have unique things to say to make to the world better. And other people are already speaking for themselves too. We just need to pass the mic if they aren’t being heard.
I also think when I became fully content in my singleness. I think that those things kind of lined up together. I am whole and complete on my own. I’m making an impact on the world with my own voice. That’s when I felt, “okay, I’ve arrived as a grown up, as a woman”. I love it.
What do you say to those who ask, “why you aren’t in a relationship”?
I’m not saying that this is true for anybody else but for me, I would have to find somebody who is perfectly capable, willing and comfortable sharing power in a relationship. I would have to find someone comfortable to truly be equals for it to be worth it because relationships come with a lot of sacrifice.
Sometimes people get a lot of pity, like “it must be so hard to be single”. But I would have to say the opposite; it’s so hard to have to share your life with someone and constantly make life decisions together. It’s a lot of effort to share power and compromise. To me, that’s what is hard; being single isn’t hard. I get to do what I want! Again, strictly speaking for myself here, not anybody else.
I think sometimes in relationships we kind of give ourselves away a little bit. I think really good relationships are a value add where we gain more of who we really are. Relationships take a lot of time and effort and I don’t want it to take away from my interesting life, my interesting friends and my interesting self. In the meantime, I really enjoy my own company; I think I’m rad.
What is one thing you are really passionate about?
There is one more thing that I would want to say to women right now. I don’t have a sound bite or bullet points on this, I simply think there needs to be a bigger conversation about caregiving in the world of women. Especially for grown ass women that are of a certain age, the topic of caregiving isn’t given the light it deserves because it’s so unglamorous and so unsexy. It’s not something we can put in an Instagram meme with pretty graphics. It takes up huge amounts of our time and energy, which often results in feeling really alone.
If there was ever an issue where we need each other, it’s this one. There’s a huge hole in our social safety net as a country around caring for those who are elderly, disabled, or chronically ill. We sometimes talk about motherhood and how that can take women out of the workforce and, be challenging in terms of our identities and lives. Caregiving is similar to motherhood in terms of the demands that can be placed on your time and your entire person. And yet it’s very sad because there’s illness and often death involved. No one throws you a shower or celebrates you for becoming a caregiver. I don’t have the answers of how it needs to be talked about, but I know we need to be talking about it. It’s affecting a lot of people. You’re not alone; it’s hard.
What’s your favorite accessory?
Earrings.
If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Stove popped popcorn or air-popped and I add my own butter and seasoning. None of that microwave stuff.
Breakfast, Brunch or Dinner?
Brunch.
Who would you invite to brunch with you — dead or alive?
Frida Kahlo, Michelle Obama and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And my grandmother who died when I was five.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A ballerina or an archaeologist.
What does self-care mean to you?
Oh, gosh, that is something I am thinking about a lot right now. Self-care to me is a lot more than just a manicure. Selfcare is the hard stuff; healing our wounds can be the hardest thing in the world to do. And that is the kind of self-care that I think a lot of people are a lot less willing to engage in. I also did float therapy earlier this week; it was my more fun version of self-care.
What’s the best mistake you ever made?
The best mistake I ever made was working at a hospital. I was the assistant to the chief of staff
and I hated so much that it pushed me to combat my misery. I would sit there at my desk fantasizing about what life would be like working my dream job in Washington DC. And that fantasy turned into reality. I was so miserable. I was like, screw everything. Without that mistake, I don’t think I would have had the courage to go after my dreams
What is your favorite new discovery?
Float therapy. I’m obsessed.
What was the last song you sang out loud?
A Whole New World, in the car last night driving back from Hollywood. I’m so glad that’s my answer. It’s totally true.
If there is a heaven, what is it like?
Everything that we love about here, except bigger, brighter and more real. It’s flowers that are huge and never die. It’s all of our favorite pets alive and with us. All of our favorite foods but they don’t give us heartburn. We are also surrounded by all of our favorite people but they’re healed from all of life’s wounds, and happy and healthy.
