The Shit Post

Is there some fucked up inherent need for men to want to shit their brains out one inch away from each other in the rest-room? It’s just too close. If you have a choice, pick the stall a couple over. Why don’t we just remove the dividers altogether and just have a big metal trough. We could hang Nylon straps from the fucking ceiling to grab onto and really let her rip.

When you’re in the stall, there’s always that one guy who gets done using the urinal and just lingers there at the sink. Washing his hands, checking his hair, who knows what the fuck else. You know he’s listening to you thinking to himself, “Oh, I wonder what that guy had to eat for lunch?” Leave the room dickhead!

I just don’t get it. If I enter the men’s room and every stall is filled, save one, I’ll hold it. I’m not sitting next to four guys who sound like they’re trying to get the last squeeze out of a ketchup bottle. Maybe I’m just not a real man’s man or something. I’m sure there are other dudes out there who feel this way.

For some reason, wherever I work, it’s always Chipotle outbreak day.