Which Would You Choose? Your Beemer or Your Life?
Is it possible to be able-bodied one moment and paralyzed the next? May one simply listen to another and learn how to avoid life’s tragedies?
At this stage in my middle-aged life learning from others is my preferred method of wisdom. Too, messages hit me the hardest when I hear them straight from the horse’s mouth.
Such an experience occurred and I watched with bated breath as the lessons unfolded before me. As a paraprofessional, I was told by the District I’d assist a sharp and beautiful General Education student who was unexpectedly returning to school in a wheelchair. Further, I was told I was the perfect person to assist the 17-year-old student who endured a tragic, life-threatening incident where she would never walk again.
Was I truly equipped for the task for which I was assigned? What if I failed to deliver in a meaningful manner? My ego allowed thoughts of less-than to permeate my conscious mind. I asked what happened to the student, which brought her to me.
I learned from the student’s counselor she once hackled the ‘short bus’, reserved for the Special Education students. Mystified, I asked further for the student’s personal insight. She was pretty, popular with the rough students and had a long line of followers on Social Media. I was mesmerized. How could a 17-year-old girl encapsulate so many at such a tender age?
As if karma played an unlucky card, I was told to arrive at the ‘Short Bus’ drop-off zone for Tina, my new student. I spoke with Robert, the bus driver, to let him know I was Tina’s new aide and would assist the moment she exited the tiny bus.
Every disabled student exited stage left and still, I anxiously awaited my new assignment. The minutes passed and finally, the most gorgeous and trim brunette with large brown eyes appeared — in a wheelchair. As we stared into each other’s eyes, we sized each other up in nothing flat. She instinctively knew I was in way over my head and I instinctively knew, I didn’t stand a chance with the girl who already surpassed life as I knew it.
Tina was strapped into her wheelchair and as Robert delivered her to me, he whispered, “Good luck, Debbie.” As a chill ran over my spine, I kicked his knowing words to the curb and decided this would be the best year for Tina and me. I’d make sure her transition from able-bodied to disabled would be smooth.
After the obligatory introductions, I pushed Tina’s wheelchair toward the main hallway. My orders were to open the doors for her, speak to her teachers and then, sit in a corner. As a robotic figure when at this work, I did as instructed.
After Tina’s first period class, I was to take her to the nurse’s station for a bathroom reprieve. Naturally, Tina could no longer feel the urge to urinate, nor could she feel when her period arrived. After a month, I calculated her 28-day cycle so I’d know when she needed a pad. To have such intimate information on another felt like a sacred violation. She had the same cycle as me when I was filled with youth.
We were in the nurse’s bathroom one day to make the necessary changes. I was to lift her slight frame from the wheelchair to the toilet. Perhaps I hadn’t enough spinach that morning? When the transition began, I felt Tina slip from my death grasp and she landed with a thud on the cold floor with her pants enveloped around her ankles. In an instant, I saw my job flash before my eyes. In horror, I bellowed, “Oh, holy f**k!” I looked into Tina’s eyes and with a pleading silent message, I begged, “Oh, my God. Please don’t tell anyone I dropped the ‘F’ bomb.” Tina looked at me and with the knowledge of an aged soul, she whispered, “Miss, Debbie. You’re the coolest person I ever met.”
Tina pushed the limits as I did when I was a teen. Through our time together, she proved herself a capable student who earned a bit of freedom from me. She could have time alone during the break to visit and assured me her friends would push her to her next class. However, when I arrived at her next class, she wasn’t there! I raced all over the school and finally located her behind a building with friends. She lied and said she was in the library when in fact, she was ditching her next class. She said she didn’t need me during the third period as she’d be in the library. She had no idea I’m on friendly terms with all staff. Donovan, the librarian, said she hadn’t been there. Where in the world was my student?! She so lied to me! When I finally located her, with a wave of her hair she said her friends wanted to visit. I was so patient and yet, my veins boiled with fury. Finally, it was time for me to know what caused her to be in a wheelchair after having roamed free her first 16 years.
I demanded, “What caused this accident?!” Tina paused for 10 seconds before beginning the tale to forever transform how I view life. She told of being a party girl and in one evening, she joined her friends in a sporty black BMW. She and her close friends partied in the city and then, it was time to head home for their ignored curfews. Tina climbed into the back seat behind her male friend’s passenger’s seat.
As the shiny BMW raced along the highway at breakneck speeds, the highly intoxicated teens treasured their final freedom as ‘normal’ beings. Within moments, the BMW careened off the highway and down a 100-foot embankment. How much time passed until the rescue crew arrived? Who would tell the teens their friend in the passenger seat died?
Tina, positioned behind the passenger seat, instantly knew she couldn’t move her legs. Was she aware she’d never walk again? Her slender body had been violently shoved into the back of the front passenger’s seat. The rescue crew gently separated her head from the back of the seat. They removed the trunk of the car from the back of her body.
Tina told her story to me while not holding back one iota. Perhaps, she wished for my eyes to pop with surprise? What did she hope to achieve by relaying something so horrific? She completely trusted me. Quietly, I let her know I wished to continue being her aide. It didn’t matter to me who she was prior to this accident. I would remain by her side.
Tina declared she was now living with her father and the wheelchair ramp he built was, “so ghetto.” What in the world did this mean? She furthered she and her father fought and she wanted to live with her aunt again. I knew then our days were numbered.
The following week, Tina confided she was leaving to live with her aunt a few hours away. I know wild horses will never be penned in and I solemnly said I totally honored her decision to leave.
Tina is a distant memory for me. Was her tragic incident a karmic play for teasing the short bus? Was it merely poor choices on those in the BMW? How do the events in life play out and do they have anything to do with how we behave or think?
Tina will forever be on my mind as I navigate my life while wondering about the Beemer and her life.
