Time Uninterrupted

It has been five weeks since my daughter was born.

I started that morning with an email to work telling them that my wife asked me to stay home. We were not expecting (but were hoping) her to be born that day. Thirty minutes later we were riding the shoulder on the freeway in morning rush hour traffic to make it to the hospital so we wouldn’t be on the news for being that couple that gave birth on the side of the road.

After baby was born and we settled in I sent my last email to work for the next five weeks. I let them know baby was here and I would be starting my FMLA.

I learned a few months before that day FMLA is that pesky federal law that allows a person with a medical issue or family emergency to deal with it without having to look for a new job in the process — for 12 weeks at least — and if they have time banked — they can get paid for it as well. This law is far from perfect. It can be abused by both sides — the worker and the employer.

I banked my sick and vacation time so was able to spend my 5 weeks not worrying about where food was going to come from or how the bills were going to get paid. I was able to spend the time bonding with my new girl and growing boy, spending moments with my awesome wife and sometimes going to the gym all by myself for some needed mental health hours.

Because I am a “see-er” I can see what people are saying.

There are people saying “Five weeks — poor family — we get 12 months paid — no questions asked — grandparents and cousins too — full family bonding!”. (Full disclosure — I think I saw that in a Michael Moore movie)

Then there are people saying “Look at what has become of this country. Socialists letting this man take time to spend with his family. Bad enough we’ve let women do it and now men too. Disgusting!”

To all of them I say — we can’t have it all. I got it better than most I would say. I work in a state, for the state, which the governor tried to be the fourth state to give paid paternity/maternity leave to it’s workers — but the lawmakers were too busy trying to pass a bathroom bill to discuss it.

I worked with a manager who worked with me to make the time easier. I worked with an HR rep who helped me navigate the paperwork and find a balance with what I needed and what my employer wanted. Without these two on my side I would have been back at work the Monday after she was born because without FMLA I am only permitted 3 days sick leave, no matter how much I bank without a doctors note.

Because of people and not the system I write this at my dining room table with a cup of coffee, one kid watching tv next to a sleeping dog, one sleeping in her own room for the first time, and my wife resting.

Tomorrow I go back to work. Today I enjoy my family and the five weeks I was able to spend with them uninterrupted.