I did it!!!
I am inordinately proud of myself.
I live in a small Oregon town, Sherwood. It’s a wonderful place, good neighbors, lots of nice shopping, close to Portland, has a fantastic Robin Hood festival every summer (with a name like Sherwood, how could they not?), with an interesting mix between Democrats and Republicans.
A staple in Sherwood is the Mormons. They volunteer at our Senior Center (where I do, too), both men and women, and you see pairs of them walking the streets on a regular basis. Unfailingly polite, the ones I’ve encountered are not the pushy type.
Backstory — In July, our youngest grandson, then 4 1/2, was visiting us, and while here was diagnosed with an acute version of Leukemia. Spent the next month here at the Doernbecher hospital at OHSU for the first month of intensive treatment — a wonderful place, but a whole ‘nuther story. Then he went back home. Two weeks ago, my wife went back East to Maryland (where they live) to assist with his care and treatment so his parents don’t have to take so much time off. Maybe someday I’ll write that one up — for now, he’s doing as well as could be expected, and just had his fifth birthday last Friday!
Anyway, a couple of months ago, two of those nice Mormon ladies showed up at our door on their regular rounds, and my wife (being as unreligious as me) having been taught to be unfailingly polite to everyone, ended up relating some of that story to them, and of course, they promised to pray for him, etc.
Now for MY part of the story.
So, while she's there, somebody has to stay here and feed the dog.
So, I’m here this morning, trying hard to get the sleep out of my eyes and send a text to my wife without misspelling anything (Siri, help me this ONCE, please?) I hear the knock on the door. Luna, being outside, I didn’t have to contend with her eagerness, thankfully, so I get up and answer the door.
Two lovely ladies. The conversation ensues, and they ask after my wife and grandson. I tell the short public version of his condition and that she’s there helping to care for him. They of course, commiserate and send their best wishes.
Then the fun begins. (You saw this coming, didn’t you?)
Well, it was a wonderful conversation, and we all managed to be polite the whole time, but the conversation (naturally) got around to our current political situation. One of the ladies had shown me the bible verses telling us that soon, Jesus was going to come down and take control of everything! Well, of course, that took a certain level of tight control, as you might well understand for this die hard atheist, but, yes, I managed to keep from rolling my eyes.
I countered, that until he did, it was up to us, as the people nominally in control of our democratic government, to actually get out and vote to ensure things work as we desire them to. Yes, they nodded and were nice.
Then, she lowered the boom (quite unintentionally, I think), by saying quietly, “Well, we don’t vote…”
I…
Yeah. For one single nanosecond, I froze. But here’s where I want you to be proud of me. I did not roll my eyes! I did not slap my forehead, nor did I tilt my head back and laugh, or roll my head forward and groan.
She continued her statement, “…but we’re just praying for Jesus to come and make everything right.”
Still, I managed to maintain my composure.
It took a moment, but I managed a reply.
I said, “You do realize that the fundamentalist Evangelicals are trying so hard to turn this country into a theocracy, right?” They nodded carefully.
“…and you do realize there are 45,000+ denominations of just Christianity alone in this country, right?” Their eyes got big, but they still nodded.
“So, if they do manage to do that, can you tell me which denomination’s doctrines will become the standard religion for this country?”
Silence.
I thanked them for their concern over my wife and grandson, and ensured them I’d pass along their greetings and hopeful concerns to her. I started to close the door, but then stopped.
“I’ll leave you with two thoughts. First, it’s your votes that can help us maintain our democracy, and it’s that democracy that allows you to stand there and share your beliefs with me and my wife. Second, remember the bible verse where Jesus told his followers that the Kingdom of God was coming? He told them then that some of those he was talking to would still be alive when it came.” I cocked my head at them and continued, “It’s not here yet, is it?”
I thanked them for stopping by and closed the door.
I’m still not sure whether to laugh or cry at their ignorance.
