My Unknown Heritage and Religion
The truth I search for, but may not find…
African? Negro? Native American? Black American, African American? Hamite? Israelite? Ahhhhhhh!!!! There are so many names that we have been called for years that are constantly changing. I always wondered why that was the case. Nothing ever stuck; it just continued to change like the seasons. As of right now, I only know pieces of my history. The elders in my family kept quiet and didn’t share stories with us from their past.
My father was born in the Caribbean, and My mother was born in NY. After some research, a lot of my mother’s side is from the south. I have names, but that’s all it will be for me. I never heard their stories. My grandma didn’t talk about them. I’m thinking maybe she didn’t know or was traumatized. I can’t go with the narrative, “all y’all from Africa,” but I don’t know which country in Africa I am from. I mean, it would help if I knew where I came from. I do believe religion has a role in this situation. Let me explain.
As we know through history, people conquered other places. So, what happens when a takeover occurs? Things get wiped out completely to start over. So, some of us struggle to remember where we come from. We lost our language, heritage, diet, and so much more, and we were given another heritage. Something that I am not used to. So, I had to become a carbon copy of myself. The lack of history is grieving and may take years to discover. However, I know I’m more than who they told me I am. I’m more than, dare I say, a slave….
I know my people are more than what was given to us. Society paints a picture that we are a certain way; however, I can’t entirely agree. There’s lousy fruit in every race and culture. Self-hatred is a disease amongst most people due to what the “standard” is. I believe everyone is beautiful in their way. However, if you are ugly on the inside, it will eventually appear on the outside.
There is a verse in the religious text that says, “But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain.” Titus 3:9
I don’t think that’s fair for me. From what I gather, it is not to worry about where I’m from because it’s vain. I’m seeking an understanding of my family’s story. But the above verse is telling me it doesn’t matter. That irritates me🙄. The only thing I can lean on is my parents; however, that cancels out years of information. Religion has caused us to forget a lot of our precious history. The only one that we are constantly reminded of is slavery. Hmm, I wonder why, but I digress. That will be another post.
So, I run with the bit of knowledge I do have. When people ask where I am from, I tell the State. If they ask about my parents, I tell them about their State and Country. While I will probably always wonder and still search, I am creating a legacy for our children. I will pass on what I know to them, and they can always add to it. That’s the beauty of the present moment. I can always create something that will be an addition for tomorrow. Daily, I become stronger as I break free from the religious doctrine. I am becoming better, I am becoming…InYah.🙏🏽❤️
