Human connection with your team? The work starts at home.
In response to requests around our Human Connection Framework, Matthew McStravick and I have decided to expand on each of the Human Connection Principles with a series of short blog posts. The one that most resonated with me initially was our seventh:
Ultimately, when exploring developing human connection within your team — you’ll find that this exploration needs to start with looking internally — and connecting with yourself. Take a moment to bring awareness to how you feel connected to your mind and body, and look to build intention to practice inner-connectedness regularly — this will help when you begin to look outward at how this affects your relationships.
To expand on the core of this principle of ‘Be’ human connection as you ‘do’ human connection’ — I’d like to give a few more tangible examples/scenarios that you may be able to relate to and see yourself in, or even try for yourself:
- Consider what activities help you to feel grounded and more connected to your inner-self. For me, this is yoga, meditation, and conscious breathing. I find I have a notably different experience of work and colleague relationships on a day that build in one of these activities before starting work. Consider how you might show up differently when you’re feeling more connected, open and relaxed as opposed to feeling disconnected, closed and stressed.
- Make sure that to ‘check-in’ on a personal level before you launch into work chat. Check-ins can be prompted with different questions — such as ‘How does it feel to be you today?’ or ‘What is the internal weather for you today?’. This allows us to share where we are on that day, setting expectations for how we’re going to engage with our work, and building understanding and empathy for each other. This enables us to really work with a colleague’s current energies and needs. It’s important to recognise that every day is different, and making time to do this helps us to feel more connected and supported throughout our day.
- When experiencing any negative feelings like disengagement or overwhelm, aim to be open and honest with each other and share these feelings. More often than not — a colleague is feeling something similar, and this opens up a conversation that helps us to acknowledge and sit with the feeling, and sometimes reframe it.
I remember vividly the genesis of this principle — when our Deepr team experienced a stressful moment during our first project together. The core project team was Matt, Rebecca and I, and we were debriefing after a bit of a hectic workshop we’d just run as part of our project for Catalyst — building human connection in digital services. The workshop had proved stressful for all three of us in different ways, and we were feeling a little tense afterwards.
Rebecca spoke out about the feelings of stress created by preparing and delivering the workshop. We spoke about how this had happened and what we could do better next time. This led to an invitation from Rebecca: “Let’s make sure that the ‘doing’ doesn’t take away from the ‘being’.” This brought clarity & tangibility to something that had been our intention since the inception of Deepr — if the output of our work aims to create interactions that have a high level of human connection, resulting in a boost in relational wellbeing to all involved, then we should also be mindful of that when working together. To put it simply — if we’re going to talk the talk, we also need to walk the walk.
We decided there and then to very gently hold each other to account — that when we’re doing the work we are also being the work. This is something we endeavour to action each day — we’re all learning human connection together and we’ll all need support from each other as we do so.
“We know that cultural practises within organisations inevitably form part of the relational culture they have with their beneficiaries and service they deliver… culture starts from within.” Matt McStravick in Charity Digital
I recorded these thoughts on Post-its (as I do with things I see and hear that catch my attention and I want to remember beyond that moment). For several weeks I kept this set of Post-it messages on my wall behind my computer screen — I would read them every day and consider if I was holding others in my team accountable, and if I was being held accountable by them. If I felt this wasn’t happening, I’d speak up. We ran check-ins almost every time we were working at the same time — which gave us the space to be open about how we were feeling about our ways of working. I’m not sure why I ever took the notes down — as this is a principle we continue to work by. Fingers crossed it’s because it’s become truly embedded in our way of working and so I don’t need the visual reminder.
What might you take away from this? Discussing how your team or group wants to work together is an important part of making both in-person and digital remote working work for everyone. It helps us to feel connected and heard — it raises levels of key conditions that promote relational well being — equality and accountability. As a team exercise — take the time to consider what’s important to you when it comes to being & doing together. Share these with your team, listen to what’s important to others, and see what you align and differ on. This will result in your team feeling more of a team, and your collective wellbeing will spiral upwards. Perhaps you’ll end up with your own bespoke principles for working together.
Thank you for reading. To show our gratitude – here is of Human Connection method cards for you to play with. ‘50/50' is a method to employ to raise equality within your team or service experiences — helping you to intentionally consider and design into your interactions a balance of voices, participation and decision making. Enjoy!
