Four ways to tune your relational culture for remote working.
Charities are rapidly moving their services online, in response to Covid-19. We’re mid-flow on a Catalyst project looking at how they can bake opportunities for human connection into those services — to increase users’ relational wellbeing.
As we’re doing this work, we’re finding that instances where qualities of presence, autonomy, equality, responsibility and vulnerability are fostered, empathic interactions (Ei) seem to occur, which result in relational wellbeing. (For more on this, sign up to our session at 6pm BST Wednesday 22nd April).
Qualities of empathic interaction (Ei)
- Acknowledged equality
- Presence
- Autonomy
- Responsibility
- Vulnerability
However, in our research, charities are telling us that the biggest challenges they’re facing relate to the huge cultural shift their teams are experiencing as they move to remote working. And if there’s one tool that seems to be developing into a motif of these challenges, then that’s Zoom.
We’ve felt it too. Long days on video calls and then evening social events (on yet more video calls) can feel very draining. However, we’ve been part of many video-based gatherings where people have commented on how ‘energised’ they’ve felt at the end of a long session. We’ve looked closely at these energising sessions and wanted to share some of the beneficial practices that emerge as patterns within them, as well as some that have come out of our our Ei work.
Our hypothesis is that, it’s not the medium — it’s the behaviours in the medium, and what’s going on outside the medium.
This is what we found help build connection and make video calls energising, rather than draining:
Be radically transparent.
The researcher Brené Brown writes about one of the worst culture practices — ‘the meeting after the meeting’. Rather than wait until you’re out of the meeting to moan or strategise, maybe it’s better to be brave and bring that to the meeting itself. We take this view of Zoom chat. However innocently we might check on timings and agenda items in the private chat, try avoiding the ‘meeting within the meeting’ and be radically transparent.
None of us are perfect, and it’s exhausting trying to keep up a pretence that we are. When facilitating and hosting online, take the pressure off and be honest if you’re struggling with the tools, if you’ve lost track of time or you said the ‘wrong’ thing. We give people a heads up that we’ll be chatting openly about what’s going on ‘back-stage’, rather than trying to also manage a private chat with each other. Practicing this involves a little courage; we certainly feel vulnerable, but in truth, showing our own ‘humanness’ is refreshing, disarming and builds equality and connection between people on the call.
Check-in before you start talking about the to do list.
Starting off any meeting together as humans, rather than as colleagues, workers or anything else is really important. There are various ways that you can do this. We invite people to share as much or as little as they like on these questions, that blend the personal and the professional.
- What’s it like to be you today?
- What’s your biggest hope for this week?
- What do you need to achieve from this meeting?
These shares don’t need a response or any feedback, just an acknowledgement that you’ve heard that person. This kind of managed vulnerability generates trust, empathy and connection. Mix up your check-ins and include play if you’re meeting regularly with these prompts.
Raise your level of eye contact.
Videos must always, where possible, be on. Raising your laptop/computer or setting your camera to eye height helps to ensure you’re looking straight into the camera and enables the human connection that direct eye contact brings. On calls with small amounts of people, moving the other speakers’ video next to your camera helps you continually look in their direction. Even simply popping a Post-it note next to your camera to draw your attention to it helps. It’s taking time to change our behaviours and remind ourselves to look at the camera, but it really does have a positive effect and is shifting how we relate to each other.
Physical touch by proxy
We all know the value that physical touch can bring to our sense of connection, our feelings of calm, ease and overall wellbeing. Here are techniques to help build touch back into our virtual interactions, that can be introduced as part of a check-in (or anytime they’re needed):
- Shared cups of tea (or other warm drinks). Come to a call with a cup of tea and take a moment to hold the warm mug in your hands, look around at the people on the call and tune into that sense of warmth. As you are all feeling that warmth, despite experiencing it in independent environments, it brings a sense of connection. We tried this during a recent NetSquared meetup — you can see it 9 minutes in on this video.
- Hand on heart. The work of Dr. Kristin Neff points directly to the physical pressure of placing your hand on your heart space enabling feelings of self-compassion and compassion for others.
- Give and receive self-hugs. Wrapping your arms around yourself and squeezing creates the sense of being hugged. Do this in sync with other people on your call, close your eyes, and use your imagination to feel the love from others. We did a synchronised self-hug on the meetup mentioned above — you can try it yourself by going to 46.10 minutes in on this video.
- Self-handhold. If you’re not able to/don’t feel comfortable with any of the above, perhaps try holding your hands together and applying pressure.
Thank you so much for reading. If you’re interested in following along with our project, do join us on our next design session at 6pm BST Wednesday 22nd April. We’d also just love to hear from you — say hello@deepr.cc
Specifically do please do get in touch if:
- You work for a charity and need our support in ensuring your digital services are designed for human connection
- You would like to attend some of our Catalyst training and other free support on culture development in remote working charities
